Having a loved one diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease or another form of dementia is a daunting prospect for many. All of a sudden, the future is unknown and scary. You may feel sad, angry, anxious, unsure or something else entirely. Fortunately, a dementia diagnosis is not the end, says Cindy Wirth, Executive Director of Bridges® by EPOCH at Sudbury, a memory care assisted living community in Sudbury, MA.
“We’re fortunate to live in an age when there is more information and research taking place about dementia,” she says. “Every day, advancements are being made in dementia research and treatment, and we know more than ever about how to help people with dementia live a fulfilled, happy and high-quality life. While the disease is not curable, there are many things that family members can do to help their loved ones through their dementia journey.”
If someone you care about has been diagnosed with dementia – or if you suspect someone you love might be experiencing some form of cognitive decline – here are eight things you should know.
1. Don’t let denial keep your loved one from getting help.
If your loved one has been having more and more “senior moments” or if you feel in your gut that something’s “off,” do your best to encourage your loved one to visit the doctor to see what’s wrong. Oftentimes, loved ones (and the person themselves) will brush off these moments and assume – or hope – they will go away. However, this form of denial means that valuable treatment time is wasted. For starters, your loved one’s issues could be due to something completely unrelated to dementia (and it could be completely treatable). Even if their issues are being caused by cognitive decline, there are treatments and medications that can be prescribed to help stall or slow the progression of the disease. However, they’re only truly effective in the early stages of the disease. No matter what, it’s best to get a dementia diagnosis as early as possible so that effective medications can be prescribed and a care plan can be put in place and initiated.
2. A dementia diagnosis doesn’t mean that your loved one is completely helpless.
It’s not uncommon for family members, once they hear the news that “Mom/Dad has dementia” immediately assume that their loved one is now incompetent and can no longer do anything themselves. But in the early stages of dementia, your loved one’s life doesn’t necessarily have to change overly much. There are still many things they will be able to do themselves, and with the right care, they may be able to safely live independently for some time. Knowing that things will continue as normal (with slight changes) will help you and our loved one come to terms with the diagnosis and begin putting a long-term plan in place to prepare for changes down the road.
3. It’s always a good time to work on brain health.
Being diagnosed with cognitive decline doesn’t mean there’s nothing that can be done about it, even if it is a progressive disease. In fact, research shows that implementing brain health strategies can greatly affect brain function no matter what stage of cognitive decline your loved one is in. Keeping physically active and participating in activities and exercises that are mentally stimulating and meaningful will help improve brain health and keep mental acuity and other abilities as sharp as possible.
4. Don’t wait to make difficult decisions.
No one looks forward to having end-of-life discussions. After a dementia diagnosis, it’s common to want to “kick the can” down the road and avoid having those tough conversations. However, it’s important to begin these conversations as soon as you, your family and loved one are able to do so. By arranging finances, wills and trusts and powers of attorney and creating a long-term care plan, your loved one has the chance to make decisions about their own care and future. This provides peace of mind for them that their wishes will be followed, and you’ll have more confidence making decisions down the road.
5. There will be “normal” moments.
There will be many moments when you and other family members may wonder if something is “really” wrong with your loved one. It’s not uncommon for those with dementia to have times when they act, speak and appear like their old self. This can be hard and heartbreaking for family members, especially when the abilities fade again and the cognitive decline surfaces. However, it’s important to view those moments of clarity as gifts to be cherished. They can also be a comforting reminder that your loved one is still the same person – the disease hasn’t changed who they are.
6. Your loved one’s actions are due to the disease.
It can be hard for everyone when a person with dementia exhibits behaviors like anxiety, agitation, anger and other negative emotions. It’s also painful when he or she starts acting in ways that are completely opposite to how they were in the past. But just as you wouldn’t blame a diabetic for having low blood sugar or scold a person for developing cancer, you shouldn’t blame your loved one for acting the way they are. They literally can’t help it, due to the way that cognitive decline damages the brain. Remind yourself that your loved one is not defined by their disease. The relationship you had with them still remains.
7. Life can still be fun, fulfilled and happy.
While a dementia diagnosis means that life will change for your loved one (and you), it doesn’t mean that life just stops. Throughout the dementia journey, there will be numerous opportunities for you and your loved one to laugh, experience joy, make meaningful memories together, have fun and enjoy spending time together. In fact, those moments will become more beautiful and meaningful than ever before.
8. Love and caring can reach across the divide left by memory loss.
As your loved one’s cognitive decline progresses and their abilities fade, know this: emotions remain. Even people in the latest stages of dementia can understand and feel caring touches and experience the emotional surge that comes from being close to someone who cares about you. This, more than anything, can help provide a high quality of life and well-being for your loved one … and, by extension, yourself. Take to heart the old adage: “it doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you’re doing it together.” Send a letter, sit together quietly or hold hands while watching the birds. Although dementia means the brain declines, the heart remains whole.
Exceptional Care & Engaging Lifestyle
Bridges® by EPOCH at Sudbury provides exceptional memory care in a comfortable and engaging environment. Designed specifically to support those with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia, our community delivers a wellness-focused lifestyle that respects individual preferences and abilities. Our teams receive ongoing, specialized training so they may help residents to safely exercise their independence in a secure, calm environment.
Dedicated Memory Care
Our expert dementia care and comprehensive services are tailored to meet the unique needs of our residents, wherever they are on their journey with memory loss. Our life-enrichment programs are personalized to residents’ interests and abilities, providing joy and meaning in daily life and enhancing emotional well-being.
Purpose-Built Design
Bridges® by EPOCH at Sudbury is more than a safe, beautiful place to live; it’s truly a home, where compassionate, dementia-educated caregivers help people with memory loss live more fulfilling lives. Our research-based design features soft lighting and colors, non-glare flooring, directional cues, aromatherapy and interactive life-enrichment stations that empower residents to comfortably move about their home with confidence.
Bridges® by EPOCH is New England’s largest stand-alone memory care assisted living provider.
Contact us today to learn more.