How many times a day do you find yourself laughing, chuckling, giggling – even snorting? Humor is a fact of life, and many of us do get the opportunity to laugh and de-stress throughout the day. But if you’re a caregiver to someone with dementia, you may find it hard to discover the humor in everyday life. In fact, you might not remember the last time you or your loved one laughed.
Caring for someone with Alzheimer’s or dementia can be a long, stressful and intensely emotional journey. It’s important to remember that you’re not alone. In the United States, there are about 15 million people caring for someone with dementia, and millions of others around the world. Your caregiving is a remarkable gift, and it makes a huge difference in your loved one’s quality of life.
Your approach to caregiving can play a huge role in the health and well-being for your loved one – and yourself. The ability to laugh easily and frequently is a tremendous stress reliever, and it should be in every caregiver’s toolbox.
Caregivers face many stressors, from changes in their family dynamic, household disruption, financial pressure and the added workload. It’s no wonder that caregivers are some of the people most prone to burnout. In these cases, laughter can truly be the best medicine.
Laughter and joy can help keep you going when you face trials, stress or pain. It’s also a tremendous resource for surmounting problems, enhancing your relationships, and supporting both physical and emotional health.
Unexpected humorous moments are common in caregiving. At the beginning, it might seem irreverent to find something your loved one is doing amusing, but it can become a healthy coping skill when people find humor in a situation.
Humor doesn’t just benefit caregivers. It also benefits your loved one with dementia. Humor, laughter and fun have proven to be beneficial in many ways, including:
Redirecting emotions. Many times, your loved one with dementia may feel frustrated, stressed and depressed about their situation. Humor can help them by redirecting negative emotions, relieving the tension and lightening the mood, even just for a little while.
Improving social interaction. It’s very common for people with dementia to be lonely and socially isolated. However, when they can find humor in a situation, they’re more likely to be happier, which helps their emotional state and makes them want to be more social with other people.
Maintaining dignity. Dementias such as Alzheimer’s disease can leave an individual feeling helpless and even worthless, especially in the early stages when they recognize what they’re losing. However, being able to laugh together about silly things can help them maintain their dignity and bring you together.
For caregivers, humor and laughter can be therapeutic in many ways, such as:
Providing relief from tension. The saying, “If I don’t laugh, I’ll cry” rings true for this situation. As a caregiver, days can be long, stressful and sad. By embracing humor and laughter and using that to help you make the most of the moments with your loved one, you’re able to keep a better attitude and redirect your emotions in a beneficial way.
Making you a better caregiver. People with dementia will often pick up on their caregiver’s emotions and feelings. If you’re agitated and frustrated, they will become agitated and frustrated. When you’re laughing and having fun, they’ll be more likely to laugh and have fun as well.
Strengthening relationships. Laughing together releases happy hormones in our brains that have the effect of social bonding. When you laugh with your loved one, you’re sharing a moment, which helps nurture and strengthen your relationship.
How to Find Humor and Fun in Everyday Moments
1. Start with therapeutic humor.
This simply means watching or listening to something funny for the simple sake of enjoying some humor. Focus on shows or movies that are special to your loved one. More recent funny videos on YouTube, Instagram or even America’s Funniest Home Videos feature easy humor that everyone can relate to – which make it easy to laugh and find joy.
2. Recognize and appreciate the funny moments that happen.
If you’ve been caregiving for a while, you know that your loved one can do things that are, well, funny. At the beginning, it might seem irreverent or cruel to laugh at something amusing that your loved one is doing. That’s why it’s so important to recognize the difference between laughing “with” and laughing “at.” Laughing “with” means you’re recognizing the funny moment that happens. Bonus points if it’s a situation where you’re laughing at something funny you did.
3. Know and understand your loved one.
Understanding all about the dementia your loved one has will help you manage physical health concerns as well as emotional health concerns. By understanding what’s going on in your loved one’s brain, you’ll be able to better understand the funny or strange comments or actions your loved one may make. Knowing when it’s the disease talking and not your loved one will help you manage the “laughing with/laughing at” situations.
4. Recognize that the person you love is still there.
If your mom or dad were funny when they were younger, that humor will continue to spill out into this journey. Your loved one may make jokes or do something funny to make themselves (or you) laugh. These moments are priceless, and it’s important to see them and recognize that it’s okay to enjoy the inherent humor.
5. Find support groups.
It can feel good to share the humorous stories of being a caregiver. However, family members and friends may not understand or recognize the humor in the situation. That’s one of the many reasons support groups can be so beneficial. By surrounding yourself with other caregivers, you’ll be better able to find the humor in a situation, laugh at experiences while also having the peace of mind knowing that everyone else understands that the humor is in the situation – and not with your loved one.
Finally, when all else fails, practice laughing. Yes, it seems awfully silly, but the idea of laugh therapy is becoming increasingly common. You can do this in many ways. One great way is to find videos of people (like little kids or babies) laughing. Ever notice how easy it is to start laughing when you hear other people laughing? Then, you can practice on your own by making yourself laugh. It will feel silly, but soon you’ll find yourself guffawing in earnest – and reaping the benefits it brings.
Humor is one of life’s most wonderful gifts, and sharing that with your loved one is so meaningful. Embracing humor will make this journey lighter, happier and better while making meaningful moments to cherish forever.
Exceptional Care & Engaging Lifestyle
Bridges® by EPOCH at Sudbury provides exceptional memory care in a comfortable and engaging environment. Designed specifically to support those with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia, our community delivers a wellness-focused lifestyle that respects individual preferences and abilities. Our teams receive ongoing, specialized training so they may help residents to safely exercise their independence in a secure, calm environment.
Dedicated Memory Care
Our expert dementia care and comprehensive services are tailored to meet the unique needs of our residents, wherever they are on their journey with memory loss. Our life-enrichment programs are personalized to residents’ interests and abilities, providing joy and meaning in daily life and enhancing emotional well-being.
Purpose-Built Design
Bridges® by EPOCH at Sudbury is more than a safe, beautiful place to live; it’s truly a home, where compassionate, dementia-educated caregivers help people with memory loss live more fulfilling lives. Our research-based design features soft lighting and colors, non-glare flooring, directional cues, aromatherapy and interactive life-enrichment stations that empower residents to comfortably move about their home with confidence.
Bridges® by EPOCH is New England’s largest stand-alone memory care assisted living provider.
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