“We’re entering the final stages of 2020, and as we wrap up the year, our thoughts naturally turn to the future and how we can make the upcoming year the best it can be,” says Trish McKay, Executive Director of Bridges® by EPOCH at Trumbull, a Memory Care Assisted Living community in Trumbull, CT. “For caregivers of loved ones with dementia, this can be a bittersweet exercise.”
“We know that dementia is a progressive disease, and as time passes, it means a small loss of one sort or another,” Trish says. “Still, even though we know what lies ahead, there are many opportunities for caregivers to plan, prepare and create intentions that will propel them through the end of 2020, through 2021 and beyond.”
The end of the year is the perfect time to make New Year’s Resolutions – so if you’re looking back at 2020 and thinking of ways to make your life (and the life of your loved one better), here are ways that you can set intentions to create a brighter, better future.
Intention 1: Reduce your stress.
We all know that stress is something that all caregivers must live with. However, even though we can’t get rid of stress, we can choose how you react to it. Stress is not just a reaction to the caregiving situation, but also a result of your perception of the situation. In other words, do you view your stress as something you must live with and there’s nothing you can do about it? Or is it something you can absorb, understand and move past?
Managing your personal stress will help you in a myriad of ways. First, it will greatly improve your own health – physical, mental and emotional. This will allow you to live your best life possible, which then allows you to be the best caregiver possible – aiding your loved one and improving their health. While we can never fully get rid of stress in our lives, there are ways to lessen its effects, including:
- Knowing the warning signs of caregiver stress and burnout, and making changes if and when you notice them creeping up on you.
- Understanding your own personal sources of stress, and taking steps to reducing them in your own life.
- Knowing what you can and cannot change in your life – the act of letting go of things you can’t control is an immediate stress relief.
Take steps to reduce your stress levels on a regular basis. Practice self-care, do something nice for yourself every day and reach out to friends and loved ones. By identifying stress reducers, you will be able to attain a much more balanced approach to life and caregiving.
Intention 2: Set goals.
What would you like to accomplish next year? Or, looking even closer in, within the next three to six months? 2020 is a perfect example of how our best laid plans can go astray, but even if we can’t predict or control a global pandemic, we can affect much smaller, more personal things in our lives. Think about your life as it stands now, and set some sample goals that will improve your well-being now and in the future. Remember that goals are usually lofty, and you may need to break each goal into smaller pieces so you can take measurable steps towards them. Here are a few examples of what your goals may be:
- Take a caregiving break every other month by seeking help from family, friends or professionals.
- Accept assistance from friends and family so that you can lessen the load on your shoulders.
- Do things that make you feel healthier and happier, like regular exercise or picking up a hobby.
Intention 3: Communicate in constructive ways.
Being able to communicate constructively with your loved one (and your loved one’s care team) are incredibly important for you and your loved one’s health. By being an advocate and speaking up and communicating in constructive, assertive and clear ways, you will be better able to get the support and help you need. Here are just a few ways you can accomplish that:
- Use “I” messages to express your feelings in a constructive way instead of using accusatory “you” messages.
- Understand and respect others’ feelings and rights, and recognize that it’s okay for them to express what they’re feeling.
- Be specific and clear in your requests and comments. Don’t beat around the bush – none of us are mind readers, and … well, you know what happens when we assume.
- Listen as much (or more) than you speak. Listening and truly hearing what the other person is saying is essential for clear communication.
Intention 4: Ask for and accept help.
Someone asks you how they can help, and you can’t answer with anything specific. Or they say, “let me know when you need something.” While it’s kind that others offer to help, you know from experience that it can be even more exhausting for you to think of ways for others to lend a hand. Or, perhaps you don’t think you deserve to get help because you feel as if you should accomplish everything yourself. Or you don’t wish to burden others. The list goes on and on. However, you aren’t a superhero, and accepting the help of others is a gift both for them and you.
For 2021, be prepared with a list of tasks that others can help you with. For example, you could ask someone to watch your loved one for an hour a week so you can run to the store (or take a nap). You could ask a family member to take over the financial aspect of caregiving and help manage bills and insurance issues. Another idea is to ask a friend to pick up groceries for you on her weekly run. By having specific tasks, it’s easier for people to say yes and it takes chores off of your plate.
Intention 5: Recognize and learn from your emotions.
Caregivers feel a variety of emotions, and left unchecked, it’s easy for them to control us. Instead of letting that happen, take a breath and allow yourself to understand the messages your emotions are sending you. Your feelings exist for a reason, and if you listen, you can understand the underlying issues that you’re grappling with. Learn from what you’re feeling, and then take appropriate action to rectify any issues.
“The new year is a clean slate and the perfect time to set intentions to improve your life,” says Trish. “We encourage all caregivers to take this time to think about what they want in their lives and make plans towards making the new year the best one ever.”
Dedicated Memory Care
Bridges® by EPOCH at Trumbull delivers highly specialized memory care assisted living for those with Alzheimer’s disease or other forms of dementia. Our resident-centered approach focuses on providing dignity, purpose and moments of joy in daily life for those in all stages of the disease. We offer a wellness-focused lifestyle that centers around a resident’s current skills and abilities, not those that have been lost to dementia.
Life-Enriching Programs
Our team members take an active role in getting to know each resident on a personal level to deliver programming that is meaningful to them. We account for the preferences, interests, needs and abilities of our residents to connect with them and encourage their involvement in daily life and boost self-esteem.
Warm, Residential Atmosphere
Featuring a stunning residential design, every inch of our community has been designed to benefit those with memory loss. Attributes such as soft colors, directional cues, aromatherapy and interactive life stations create a soothing and secure environment where residents feel comfortable, safe and at home.
Contact us today to learn more.