Seeing our loved ones can be a very rewarding, joyful experience. However, if your loved one is in a memory care community, that joy can be tempered with sadness, frustration and uncertainty. Whether your loved one has just moved to a community, or if he or she has been there for some time, you may hesitate to visit because you’re not sure how to make the experience a meaningful one. Perhaps your dad doesn’t always remember who you are, or your mom can’t understand what you’re saying. Still, you want to visit with them. What can you do?
“It’s never easy when a loved one is progressing through the dementia journey, and it can be hard to know what to do when visiting them,” says Phil Noto, Executive Director of Bridges® by EPOCH at Trumbull, a memory care assisted living community in Trumbull, CT. “Unfortunately, this can result in reluctance or anxiety about visiting, which can lead to an experience that’s not great for either party.” Phil adds: “But since interactions with loved ones can be beneficial to the well-being of someone with dementia, it’s important to find ways to get around the anxiety and discover opportunities to make visits meaningful and memorable, no matter what stage of dementia your loved one is in.”
Why Memory Care Visits Matter
Memory care specialists from the Alzheimer’s Association® to the Mayo Clinic state that visits from friends and family can be therapeutic and beneficial to individuals with a neurocognitive disease such as Alzheimer’s disease. According to experts, these visits can help improve the individual’s sense of belonging, emotional state and self-esteem.
“Another benefit of visiting a loved one, especially if they are being cared for at home, is that you can give the primary caregiver a much-needed break from caregiving,” says Phil. “This is a gift that has double benefits: you’re able to share a meaningful experience with your loved one with dementia, and also give their caregiver a much-deserved chance to enjoy some time for themselves.”
Tips for Making a Memory Care Visit Meaningful
According to the Alzheimer’s Association®, creating moments of joy is what matters most when visiting a loved one with dementia. “Actions speak louder than words, and the simple act of spending time with your loved one can be incredibly meaningful … even if no words are exchanged.” Here are some tips for making your visits as fulfilling as possible for both you and your loved one.
- Introduce yourself and your relationship. Your loved one may know that they know you, but not remember who exactly you are or how you’re related. Help them out by introducing yourself upon visiting: “Hello, Aunt Emily! It’s your nephew, John – so great to see you!”
- Keep things simple. You don’t need to overthink your visit with activities, tasks or events. The best gift you can give your loved one is time and attention, so think about the abilities that remain and tap into them to draw out the person inside and create meaningful, joyful moments.
- Find a quiet place. Extemporaneous sound and distractions can be disruptive to your loved one. Whenever possible, find a comfortable, quiet spot to spend your visit. Many memory care communities have quiet spots, guest areas, porches or other secluded areas for use.
- Be present and accept the situation as it unfolds. It helps to not have huge expectations for what your visit will look like. Instead, focus on the here and now and live in the moment as much as possible. Something as simple as watching the birds, or meditation and holding hands, can be incredibly fulfilling.
- Go with the flow. Individuals with dementia have good days and bad days (like all of us). It’s possible that what worked the last visit may not work this visit. Be flexible and adapt your approach to how your loved one reacts and feels in the moment.
- Be understanding. Your loved one may react in unexpected or unpleasant ways. Try not to take it personally. Your loved one may be tired, stressed or be having an unpleasant reaction to something. Remember that just being there is what’s important.
- Be present. Maintain eye contact with your loved one so they know you are attentive and listening. React in appropriate ways, both verbally and non-verbally, to show that you are paying attention and are interested in what they have to say.
- Treat them with respect. Although your loved one may be acting in a childish manner, remember that they are adults with their own agency and past life. Don’t talk down or use “elderspeak” with them. Use simple, short sentences and be sure to speak clearly, but be sure to signal your respect and care for them.
- Keep visits short. By visiting your loved ones for short amounts of time, you’re more likely to have a meaningful and beneficial interaction. You can do several short visits during one day – just be sure to gauge your loved one’s reactions and adjust your expectations accordingly.
“We understand the importance that loved ones play in the treatment and well-being of our residents, so we encourage friends and family members to participate in their loved one’s lives,” says Phil. “Bridges® by EPOCH at Trumbull is dedicated to building bridges across the gaps that memory loss creates by creating meaningful moments and interactions each and every day. Everything we do at our assisted living memory care community is to promote positive interactions between residents and loved ones that inspire, engage and promote well-being.”
Phil adds, “Our goal for each resident is to create the best quality of life possible, and ensure that all their days here are meaningful, purposeful and fulfilling.”
If you would like more information about making memory care visits meaningful, or to learn more about our memory care assisted living community, please contact us on our website.
Personalized Lifestyle
Bridges® by EPOCH at Trumbull’s highly specialized, resident-centered BRIDGES® program is a positive, uplifting approach to memory care and wellness that focuses on a resident’s current skills and abilities, not on those that have been lost to dementia.
Each programming plan is as unique as the resident it serves, requiring all Bridges® team members to take an active interest in getting to know each resident on a personal level. Then, accounting for a particular resident’s preferences, interests, needs and abilities, we customize the most efficient blend of expert-recommended care, exercises, activities and communication techniques in order to connect with the individual, encourage their involvement in daily life and create happy, meaningful moments.
Intimate Environment
Bridges® by EPOCH at Trumbull features four distinct households, each with its own spacious common areas, along with 14 private and two companion suites. Suites feature private bathrooms and walk-in showers.
Each household has a home-like look and feel, creating an atmosphere of warmth, security and comfort for our residents and their families. While furnishings are provided, we encourage families to furnish their loved ones’ suites with favorite possessions from home to help them feel at home.
Featuring stunning residential design that complements the surrounding community, every inch of the interior is designed to benefit those with Alzheimer’s disease and memory loss. Attributes such as soft colors, directional cues, aromatherapy and interactive life stations create a soothing and secure environment where residents feel comfortable and safe.
Contact us today to learn more!