No one wants a loved one to develop dementia. So when things start to seem a little off with a loved one, it’s completely natural to want to believe that nothing is wrong. Unfortunately, this can lead to issues, accidents and missed opportunities for the individual to get the help and assistance they need, says Barbara Harrison, Executive Director of Bridges® by EPOCH at Westwood, a Memory Care Assisted Living community in Westwood, MA.
“It’s very common for someone who has dementia to deny that they’re having any issues,” she says. “This can be due to true denial when they know that something is wrong and don’t want to address it. Or it can be due to lack of insight, which means that they’re unable to recognize that issues are occurring. Whatever the case, denying or avoiding a problem can cause significant issues in that individual’s future.”
Continued denial can be very frustrating for family members, especially if they can very clearly see that there are issues. However, it’s important to remember that denial may be a reflection of the person’s fear and anxiety. He or she may worry about the stigma that a dementia diagnosis can bring. Or, he or she may be worried about the future and don’t want to think about it. Whatever the case, avoiding the reality will only cause more issues down the road.
“Loved ones of someone with memory issues will do well to understand the warning signs of denial,” Barbara explains. “Oftentimes, it takes the urging and assistance of family members in order to get the individual the diagnosis they need. Coming to terms with the reality of the situation is difficult, but by acknowledging the facts, the person with memory loss can get the best care and treatment possible.”
The Dangers of Dementia Denial
What are the most common dangers that can happen if a loved one continues to deny that anything is wrong?
Medication mix-ups. It’s very easy for someone with dementia to mix up their essential medications. The person may not remember having taken their medications and end up overdosing. Or, he or she may simply not remember to take their medicine, which could lead to severe health issues.
Accidents. Leaving a person with memory loss unsupervised can lead to a variety of accidents, such as a fire in the kitchen, hospitalizations from a fall, broken bones or eating the wrong foods in excess.
Continued anxiety and stress for family members and caregivers. Caring for a loved one with dementia is exhausting and can wear family members down after an extended amount of time. Often, a spouse of someone with dementia will do what they can to help their loved one, which ends up with more and more of the weight falling on their shoulders. This can lead to caregiver burnout and health issues of their own.
Financial exploitation. Unfortunately, there are individuals who will prey on people with memory issues. Dementia causes changes in the brain that make a person less able to make good decisions, which leaves seniors vulnerable to con men, untrustworthy charities and anyone else who’s looking to make a quick buck.
Not getting paperwork in order. There are many legal and financial considerations when someone is diagnosed with dementia. Eventually, he or she will require powers of attorney, wills and trusts, written permission for others to view health records and so on and so forth. Not getting these papers in place as early as possible could lead to a situation where family members must deal with their loved one’s immediate health needs while also trying to navigate a very sticky legal situation.
How to Approach Dementia Denial
If a loved one is having increased memory issues but steadfastly refusing to do anything about it (or they don’t think that anything is wrong), here are some ways to help broach the subject.
Be gentle. Instead of trying to force someone to see reality, be compassionate and gentle. Remind the individual one that memory issues don’t always mean a dementia diagnosis. Listen to their concerns, as well as any fears or reasons they surface.
Focus on other peoples’ needs and worries. Being accusatory is never a good strategy. Instead, family members should flip the subject to how they feel about the situation and the worry about their loved one. Citing specific examples can help provide context, like forgetting names, missing important appointments and the like.
Don’t mention dementia. Experts suggest narrowing focus to one event instead of a huge “dementia” discussion. For example, an adult child could mention to their parent that they’ve noticed an increasing number of accidents at home. The ultimate goal is to get the individual to a doctor, so trying to solve a smaller issue may make the person more willing to try and do something about it.
Keep a journal. Writing down specific instances of issues and worries can help loved ones better discuss the situation with the individual’s physician. The doctor will want to know what has been happening, and having concrete details can help an individual get the right treatment for their situation.
It may take several or more tries for someone with dementia to get the assistance they need. This isn’t a fun situation, and it can be very stressful and sad for all involved. However, moving past the denial means that someone with dementia will get an official diagnosis that much sooner – and by extension, the care and support they need in order to live the best quality of life possible.
Exceptional Care & Fulfilling Lifestyle
Bridges® by EPOCH at Westwood provides memory care assisted living that is comfortable, positive, safe and engaging. Exclusively dedicated to caring for those with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia, our community offers a wellness-focused lifestyle that promotes dignity and individual preferences. Our memory care professionals receive specialized and ongoing training designed to help residents maximize their independence in a secure, calm environment – enriching the lives of our residents every day.
Inspiring Programs for All Stages
No matter what level of care or service is needed, residents and families can rest assured that our care and life-enrichment programs address the various stages of memory decline, allowing residents the opportunity to age in place.
Dedicated Memory Care
At Bridges® by EPOCH at Westwood, our services are designed to recognize and adapt to the unique challenges and individuality of each resident, while ensuring comfort and safety. We believe in a full-service approach to care and provide a high level of personalized attention for residents in various stages of memory loss.
Contact us today to learn more.