If you’re a caregiver for an aging spouse or elderly parents, we don’t need to tell you that it’s a stressful job. Sure, it can be very fulfilling, but the truth of the matter is that it’s easy for caregivers to burn out, jeopardizing their own well-being and health and the safety of their loved one. It’s been documented that family caregivers who report being stressed out by their responsibilities have a 63% higher mortality rate than their peers who are non-caregivers.
“There are many reasons why caregivers experience sky-high levels of stress,” says Michelle Pelham, Executive Director at Bridges® by EPOCH at Nashua, a memory care assisted living community in Nashua, NH. “Most family caregivers are not professionally trained and are performing this service 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. They have to juggle their responsibilities with other aspects of their life like work, raising children and caring for themselves, too. For caregivers, there literally isn’t enough time in the day to do everything, and what usually happens is that they – the caregiver – are the one who’s health gets neglected.”
While it’s possible to go-go-go like this for a short period of time, says Michelle, the impact of constant stress ultimately affects your health, your body and your mind and can leave you exhausted, sick and unable to provide care for your loved one.
“It’s essential for caregivers and family members of caregivers to recognize the signs of caregiver stress and take steps to make the situation better,” says Michelle. “Intervening before the situation reaches a tipping point will help caregivers avoid burnout and other unwanted side effects. Although stress can sneak up on us, there are some benchmarks you can look for that should cause you to take a pause and care for yourself.”
Signs of Caregiver Stress
Stress manifests in many different ways, and can be different from person to person. Generally, if you find yourself experiencing two or more of the symptoms listed below, it could mean that your stress is too high for comfort.
- Being depressed or experiencing feelings of sadness and hopelessness
- Withdrawing from activities you enjoy or from social interaction
- Heightened anxiety or fearfulness
- Becoming angry and having difficulty controlling your temper
- Having difficulty concentrating on even the smallest tasks
- Suddenly gaining or losing a significant amount of weight
- Sleeping too much or experiencing insomnia
- Drinking or smoking more than usual
- Getting sick more often and taking longer to get over it
Helpful Strategies for Managing Caregiver Stress
Ask for help. It can be hard to ask for help, especially if you’re in the mindset of “no one can do it as well as I can” or “it would take too much time to explain things to someone else.” However, you’re not Superman, and you simply can’t do everything yourself. Take a moment and think about tasks or responsibilities that you could hand off to someone else that would give you some breathing room and make your life a little more manageable. Then, reach out to family and friends to ask for their help with specific tasks (this can make it a lot easier for them to say “yes”). At the same time, if people reach out to you asking how they can help – take them up on the offer. Have your friend watch your loved one for a few hours each week so you can run errands, or ask your brother to go grocery shopping for you. You may be surprised at how many people have just been waiting for you to ask.
Accept your limitations and set boundaries. It’s human nature to want to do more and more – ”doing” is how many of us show our love, after all. But it’s okay to say “no” every once in a while. If there are aspects of your life that are draining you, such as hosting your women’s club or baking cookies for the school, it’s okay to let people know you simply can’t do it. Don’t feel guilty and understand that you are merely human – it’s okay to not be perfect. And trust us, people will understand.
Seek out support. Caregivers often report feeling alone and isolated because no one in their close circle of friends or family can really understand what they’re going through. This is where support groups specifically for caregivers can be an incredible benefit. These days, you can have your pick of groups via the Internet or in-person – groups for caregiving spouses, adult children, for specific types of dementia and so much more. Contact your local Area Agency on Aging or connect with a nearby senior center or senior living community to see what sort of groups are available in your area.
Take time to care for yourself. It’s the old airplane oxygen mask metaphor: before you can think of helping someone else, you need to make sure your mask is on first. Be sure to eat a healthy diet and get enough exercise. Don’t forget the importance of taking care of your mental health as well. You should find a way to do something nice for yourself every day, whether that’s taking a walk around the neighborhood, reading a few chapters of a good book or making a phone call to your best friend.
Look into respite services. You don’t need to be “on” all day, every day. In fact, respite services like adult day care or short-term stays at a memory care community can be very beneficial for your loved one. These services are staffed by professionals who are trained in the latest dementia care techniques, and your loved one has a chance to be among their peers and participate in social interaction, as well as partaking in fun events. Having your loved one get out for a few hours every day can give you back precious time to do the things you need to do.
Laugh together with your loved one. Laughter is the best medicine, and both you and your loved one can benefit by finding the humor in your situation and doing things that surprise and delight each other. Watch a funny TV show, giggle over silly cat videos or chuckle together when something funny happens. Not only does laughter release endorphins, but it helps bond us together – making happy memories for you and your loved one.
A Fulfilling Lifestyle
Bridges® by EPOCH at Nashua provides assisted living memory care that is comfortable, positive, safe and engaging. Exclusively dedicated to caring for those with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia or memory impairment, we’ve created a wellness-focused lifestyle that promotes dignity and individual preferences. Our memory care professionals receive specialized and ongoing training designed to help residents maximize their independence in a secure, calm environment – making a truly positive impact on the lives of our residents each and every day.
Many Services, One Monthly Fee
Our dedicated memory care and services celebrate life and support each resident’s individual strengths. No matter what stage of memory loss a resident may be experiencing, their family can be sure that with us, their loved one is safe, secure and happy.
Stunning, Purpose-Built Design
Featuring a stunning design and luxuries only a new community can offer, Bridges® by EPOCH at Nashua is so much more than a beautiful place to live . . . It’s a community with a singular focus: enrich the lives of our residents and help their families enjoy meaningful relationships with them. Our evidence-based design features attributes that make life easier for those with memory loss: soft colors, directional cues, aromatherapy and interactive life stations.
Contact us today to learn more.