People are living longer thanks to medical treatments and innovation, which increases the risk that more of us will end up living with disabilities and chronic illnesses in our senior years. This also means that many of us will find ourselves becoming family caregivers for a spouse, parent or another relative.
“Being a family caregiver is an act of love and loyalty,” says Erica Labb, Executive Director of Bridges® by EPOCH at Westford. “Day in and day out, you provide a priceless gift of care to improve the quality of life for your loved one. But even though it is a fulfilling role, it also is challenging – particularly if you’re a first-time caregiver.”
Erica says that many family caregivers may never have expected to find themselves in this situation and often feel like they’re in over their heads. That’s normal, Erica explains, but the good news is that you don’t have to be perfect to provide the best care to your loved one. All you need is the right support and help. “Understanding what you’re up against and having a strong support system and the right attitude will make being a caregiver much more rewarding for you and your loved one.”
As experts in the caregiving field, we understand the responsibilities you face, whether you’re new to the caregiving game or have been a family caregiver for a long time. Here are our top ways to find support, overcome challenges and make caregiving a positive experience for you, your loved one and everyone else your life touches.
Accept your feelings.
We’re only human, and as humans, we carry a wide variety of emotions. Caregiving can bring up some of those more difficult emotions, like grief, resentment, fear, anger and others. Caregivers may be tempted to tamp down those emotions and just try to barrel through them, which is actually the worst thing you can do. It’s essential to acknowledge your feelings, both good and bad, and work through them in a healthy manner. Having those thoughts and feelings doesn’t mean you’re a bad caregiver or that you don’t love the person you’re caring for. It just means that you’re human. Find someone you can confide in, whether that’s a close friend, spiritual advisor or therapist. Having someone to listen without judgment can be very cathartic and allow you to work through your feelings.
Find other caregivers to help you.
Being a primary caregiver doesn’t mean you’re the only caregiver. As we mentioned before, you’re only human – and humans can’t be the sole caregiver 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. This is why a strong support group can be a real lifesaver. You’ll need support and assistance from friends and other family members (plus professionals) to ensure your loved one is taken care of and that you don’t burn out. Take some time to think about what sort of tasks you need help with, determine who in your group would be best suited to the task and then start asking those around you for specific, actionable help. For example, maybe your brother can handle the financial aspects and paperwork related to your loved one’s medical care. Or your cousin can come and watch your loved one once a week for several hours so that you can run errands or attend to your own needs. Beyond family members, you can also turn to organizations in your community that can provide help, such as churches, caregiver support groups, social workers or organizations related to your loved one’s illness or disability.
Take time to connect with your loved one beyond the caregiving role.
It’s easy to let the role of caregiver take over your relationship with the person you’re caring for. But it’s important to remember that your loved one is still the same person you knew prior to their diagnosis, and that relationship – spouse, parent or friend – should continue to be nurtured. Really connecting to your loved one boosts your mood, reduces stress and triggers biological changes that affect your emotional, mental and physical health. For your loved one, it does the same while also subconsciously reminding them that you’re there, you love them and that they matter. Take some time every day to really focus on the person you care for, even if they can no longer communicate. Something as simple as holding their hand and sitting quietly can provide a bonding moment like none other.
Take care of yourself.
Caring for yourself may seem selfish at first, but it’s actually a selfless gesture. You can’t care for your loved one if you aren’t feeling well yourself. Take time to exercise regularly, eat a healthy diet, get a good night’s sleep and make sure you’re staying on top of your health with doctors appointments and the like. Don’t forget the importance of caring for yourself emotionally and mentally. You should do something every day that relaxes you or fills you up, whether that’s taking a bath, reading a book or calling a friend. Caregivers need care just as much as the ones they care for.
Find a community of caregivers.
Sometimes the only people who can really understand what you’re going through are those who’ve gone through it yourself. A caregiver support group can help you find just that community. Not only are these groups a place to share information and advice, but they’re also spaces where you can be honest and share your trials, frustrations and the like without being judged – because everyone there will understand completely how you’re feeling. These days, you can find support groups online and in person, so you can find around-the-clock support however you’re most comfortable receiving it.
Look into community services.
Most communities have services that are designed to help caregivers. Many of these opportunities are free or low-cost, depending on your situation. Meal delivery services, transportation services, respite care, adult day care and in-home caregiving may all be available near you. The best way to begin finding resources is by contacting your local Area Agency on Aging, nearby hospitals, local senior centers or the county information department.
Caregiving can seem overwhelming and solitary at first, but remember that you’re not alone. There are many services available to help you provide the best care possible and people in your life who are ready to help however they can.
Comprehensive Memory Care
Bridges® by EPOCH at Westford delivers highly specialized memory care assisted living for those with Alzheimer’s disease or other forms of dementia. Our resident-centered approach focuses on providing dignity, purpose and moments of joy in daily life for those in all stages of the disease. We offer a wellness-focused lifestyle that centers around a resident’s current skills and abilities, not those that have been lost to dementia.
Life-Enriching Programs
Our team members take an active role in getting to know each resident on a personal level to deliver programming that is meaningful to them. We account for the preferences, interests, needs and abilities of our residents to connect with them and encourage their involvement in daily life and boost self-esteem.
Warm, Residential Atmosphere
Featuring a stunning residential design, every inch of our community has been designed to benefit those with memory loss. Attributes such as soft colors, directional cues and aromatherapy create a soothing and secure environment where residents feel comfortable, safe and at home.
Bridges® by EPOCH is New England’s largest stand-alone memory care assisted living provider.