Q: This is my first holiday season caring for my mom who has dementia. What do I need to know to make this holiday more enjoyable for her and smoother for me?
A: Caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease or another form of dementia during the holidays can be a rewarding but challenging experience. The holiday season can bring joy and connection, but it can also be overwhelming for individuals with dementia due to changes in routine, increased social interactions, and sensory overload.
Fortunately, there are a number of ways family caregivers can help their loved ones enjoy the holidays, all while decreasing their own stress levels and ensuring this is a joyful time of year for everyone. We’ll share our top tips below.
Caring for a Loved One with Dementia Through the Holidays
Adjust Your Expectations
You may usually host all the holiday celebrations and family gatherings, and you might want to uphold every family tradition. However, it’s important to adjust what you expect from yourself and your loved one.
Your loved one may not be able to mentally or emotionally handle all the hustle and bustle that tends to come with the holidays, and the extra holiday preparations may leave you feeling overwhelmed on top of caring for a loved one. It’s important to do only what you can and adjust your holiday plans if needed. Try not to let yourself feel guilty over prioritizing your loved one’s – and your own – well-being during this time of year.
Maintain Routines
As much as possible, stick to a consistent daily routine for your loved one. Familiarity can help reduce anxiety and confusion. It may also help to make time spent with family members or friends much more enjoyable.
Involve Them in Activities
Engage your loved one with dementia in holiday activities at a level that is comfortable for them. For example, they can help wrap gifts, set the table, or decorate. You can also focus on the holiday activities that mean the most to your loved one, like caroling, driving through holiday light displays, making and sending holiday cards, listening to holiday music, watching holiday movies, or baking.
Limit Social Gatherings
Smaller, quieter gatherings may be less stressful for your loved one than large, noisy parties. Consider inviting only close family and friends. If you won’t be hosting, try to stick with familiar locations so your loved one will be more comfortable.
Communicate With Guests
Let guests know about your loved one’s form of dementia in advance and what they can expect. Educate them on how to interact with sensitivity and patience. Be willing to ask for support from those who can help you by engaging with your loved one or taking over certain tasks during the gathering.
Create a Quiet Space
Designate a quiet and comfortable area where your loved one can retreat if they become overwhelmed by the activity level. This space should be free from holiday decorations and noise. Fill this area with their comfort items that can help to calm them and make them feel more relaxed.
Keep Gifts Simple
Consider giving practical and easy-to-use gifts. A photo album, a cozy blanket, or a favorite snack can be more meaningful than extravagant presents. Gift certificates can also be a good way to help them purchase items they want.
Manage Mealtime
Manage MealtimeWhile you may want to try new recipes during your holiday gatherings, be sure to offer your loved one familiar and favorite foods to avoid potential confusion or agitation. Avoid foods that may be difficult to chew or digest.
Be Mindful of Overstimulation
Limit loud music, flashing lights, and noisy decorations that can be disorienting and distressing for individuals with dementia.
Be Patient and Flexible
Dementia can lead to unpredictable behavior and communication difficulties. Be patient and adapt to your loved one’s needs and preferences. Try to schedule events when your loved one’s mood and attention are at their best, such as avoiding late evening gatherings.
Consider Their Comfort
Pay attention to your loved one’s comfort, such as ensuring they have enough rest, are dressed appropriately for the weather, and have their medications. Don’t forget that many pharmacies can be closed during the holidays, so be prepared and have their prescriptions ready.
Reach Out for Support
Caring for a loved one with dementia can be emotionally challenging. Reach out to join local support groups or find counselors to help you cope with the stress and emotions of caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of memory loss.
Reflect on Past Traditions
Consider revisiting holiday traditions your loved one enjoyed in the past, even if they are with some slight modifications to match your loved one’s abilities. Familiar activities can be comforting and may trigger positive memories. If you’re not able to do this, try to reflect by going through past family photo albums with your loved one.
Focus on Quality Time
The holidays are an opportunity to create meaningful memories. Spend quality time with your loved one, whether it’s through conversations, music, baking or other simple activities.
We’re Here for You
The holidays, although joyful, can be a stressful time for caregivers and families. If you’re thinking about seeking additional support for a loved one with dementia, we’re here to help. Schedule a visit to one of our communities to experience the gift of peace of mind.
About Alicia
Alicia Seaver is Vice President of Memory Care Operations for EPOCH Senior Living and a Certified Memory Impairment Specialist. Every month, she addresses a specific issue related to memory and memory care. If you’re interested in hearing about a particular topic, please send a note to [email protected].
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