November is the month of giving, gratitude and thankfulness, which means that for many of us, our thoughts turn to how we can “give back” to the people and causes we care about. If you have a family caregiver in your immediate circle, one of the most immediate and meaningful ways you can “give back” is by showing thanks and appreciation to them, says Christine Brooks, Executive Director of Bridges® by EPOCH at Sudbury, a memory care assisted living community in Sudbury, MA.
“Caregivers deserve thanks all year round, but especially during this season,” Christine explains. “This can really be an opportunity for you to provide assistance, show your thankfulness, and put in place support that will help them throughout the rest of the year and into the next.”
Here are some meaningful ways you can give back this Thanksgiving and share your love and appreciation to caregivers in your life – as well as those they care for.
Offer hands-on help.
Actions speak louder than words, and while hearing “thank you” and “you’re appreciated” is nice, offering to help provide care and help to a caregiver means so much more. Caregivers could always use some help, so pull together a list of tasks you could help with and offer your assistance. Instead of asking a caregiver, “what can I do to help?”, offer to provide concrete, specific tasks. Some things you might want to consider offering are:
- Helping plan and put together the Thanksgiving meal
- Running errands, such as picking up prescriptions or going grocery shopping
- Cleaning their house
Give your time.
One of the kindest things you can give a family caregiver is the gift of time. Most family caregivers spend their days rushing from sunup to sundown without ever really getting a break or having a chance to relax. When friends and family members commit to giving a caregiver that time – best of all, on a regular basis – the caregiver gets a break while also having peace of mind that their loved one is being cared for. Consider coordinating regular times when you and other family members can watch the individual with dementia so the caregiver can practice self-care, whether that’s taking a nap, going to the doctor, getting a haircut or whatever else that might fill them up.
Stay in touch.
Being a caregiver can be a very lonely experience. While staying socially connected is important to both them and their loved one, it’s sadly common for caregivers to start pulling away from social obligations because they don’t have time or are too tired. It’s up to friends and family to cross that gap and stay in touch. Don’t think that you’re being a burden or being annoying; the caregiver will appreciate everything you do to stay in touch. Here are some suggestions for helping caregivers feel connected and cared for:
- Setting up a regular weekly phone call to chat
- Texting them throughout the day with funny pictures, memes and other things
- Having a standing coffee date – if they can’t get out to an actual cafe, pick up coffee and have the date at their house
- Drop off dinner one night a week
- Set up a “caring circle” so that friends and family also go on a schedule for delivering meals or connecting with the caregiver and the individual with dementia
Know the signs of caregiver burnout.
Caregiver burnout occurs when someone experiences high levels of stress for long amounts of time. If left unchecked, burnout can result in real, severe physical issues, which isn’t good for either the caregiver or the person with dementia. By recognizing the signs of stress and burnout, you can help be an advocate and champion for caregivers in your life and help them get the care and support they need before it becomes a huge problem. Here are some of the signs to watch for:
- Mood swings, especially becoming irritated or angry easily over small things
- Sleeping too much or not sleeping at all
- Feeling exhausted, sad and depressed
- Becoming ill more frequently and staying sick for longer
- Worsening of chronic symptoms
- Withdrawing more and more from activities that bring them joy
While Thanksgiving is a wonderful time to give back to caregivers and recognize everything they do, remember that caregiving is a year-round job – and our thanks and support should be year-round as well. Showing your gratitude during this season of thanks is a great way to start and set up a regular schedule of caring that will help the caregiver – and their loved one – feel supported, appreciated and thanked year-round.
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