The holidays are a wonderful time to come together and spend time with family, but if you’re a caregiver for a loved one with dementia, the holiday season can be more stressful than serene. Holiday celebrations need to be weighed against the safety, needs and abilities of your loved one. However, that doesn’t mean that you can’t celebrate special occasions, says Fred Kelly, Executive Director of Bridges® by EPOCH at Lexington.
“Thanksgiving and other holidays mean that you as a caregiver will need to do a little extra work and coordination, but the result is definitely worth the effort,” Fred explains. “Thanksgiving, Christmas and other winter holidays are wonderful opportunities for your loved one to be around friends and family and create meaningful memories.”
As you get ready to celebrate Thanksgiving, here are some tips that will help you make the day a good experience for you, your loved one with Alzheimer’s disease and all visitors.
Remain flexible.
Flexibility is key when caring for someone with a neuromedical disease. As a caregiver, you know better than anyone how your loved one will react in certain situations. As you begin planning for Thanksgiving, stay flexible, listen to your gut, and take steps to make sure you and your loved one are comfortable throughout the duration of the celebration.
Stick to a schedule.
Even though flexibility is key, individuals who need help with ADLs and who have cognitive issues need a schedule. Routine is very important, so as you make Thanksgiving plans, try to stick to a somewhat familiar routine. This will ensure that your loved one will be happy, calm and less stressed, which will make for a much more enjoyable holiday.
Plan activities that are dementia-friendly.
Besides eating a turkey with all the trimmings, Thanksgiving is also enjoyable for the festive activities that families do together. Luckily, there are many enjoyable activities that someone with dementia can participate in, such as making garlands, decorating, setting the table and more. Having your loved one help out where possible will help them feel useful and happy and increases the chance of creating meaningful memories.
Find a quiet space.
Whether you’re visiting friends or family or hosting the holidays at your home, remember to create a space where your loved one can retreat to when things get overwhelming. This can be a spare bedroom, a basement or other space that allows your loved one to unwind and remove themselves from the hustle and bustle. Pay attention to them as the celebration unfolds, and don’t hesitate to move your loved one to a calm place if necessary.
Ask for help.
The holidays can be stressful, but they don’t necessarily need to be, at least when it comes to watching your loved one. During Thanksgiving, ask certain individuals if they can help you by watching your loved one for a short time, giving you a break to do the things you want and need to do (eat a meal, talk to family members, etc.). One of the wonderful things about being with a large group of people is that you have many helping hands who are ready and eager to assist where necessary.
“Thanksgiving is a time for showing gratitude, and as a caregiver, gratitude comes in many forms,” says Fred. “By giving yourself the grace to celebrate in perhaps a different way, you and your loved one will be able to enjoy the season in all its imperfections and create experiences that will sustain you and them throughout the months and years to come.”
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