Caring for a loved one with dementia is a task that becomes progressively more involved as time goes on. Eventually, your loved one will need the assistance of a caregiver (such as yourself). Beyond helping with medicines and taking care of doctor’s appointments and such, you’ll also need to manage day-to-day life so that he or she is engaged, comfortable, active and involved.
It’s important for individuals with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia to have engagement on all levels: physical, mental and emotional. There are plenty of things that your loved one can continue to do that will help them experience an enjoyable day-to-day life while also providing them with the best lifestyle possible.
If you’ve never been a caregiver to someone with dementia, the idea of managing daily life for your person can seem daunting. However, the reality can be a lot less daunting than you might expect. Read on to learn some helpful tips for managing daily life when caring for someone with Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia.
Create and keep a routine.
Routine and structure are incredibly important to individuals with dementia. A regular routine allows them to understand what’s expected and what’s happening, which reduces confusion, provides comfort and helps improve their mood. Having familiar habits, tasks and activities is essential for their quality of life (and to make things easier for you, as well). That doesn’t mean that every hour of every day is the same – your loved one needs stimulating tasks and meaningful activities; otherwise, they (and you) will be bored.
As you’re planning a routine for your person, consider:
- Their abilities, likes, dislikes and passions
- How they used to spend a day (this will help provide stability and familiarity)
- Your loved one’s best time of day (knowing this will help you when you need to do things like scheduling doctor’s appointments and outings)
- Regular waking up and sleeping times, as well as scheduled mealtimes
Remember that the best schedule and routine have the opportunity for flexibility and experimentation. As your loved one’s dementia progresses, their abilities and habits will change. Something that they enjoyed a few days ago may no longer be something they want to do. As Alzheimer’s disease progresses, the abilities of a person with dementia will change. By using creativity, flexible thinking and adaptability, you can shift a daily routine to best support any changes.
Reduce ambient and background sound.
Individuals with dementia eventually become unable to filter out background noise. If there’s too much noise going on around them, they can become overwhelmed, frustrated, anxious or exhibit other unwanted behaviors. Since you want to make sure daily life is calm and enjoyable for both you and your loved one, it’s a good idea to look for ways to reduce extra sound during the day. Here are some ways you can do that:
- Turn off the radio or television when you’re having a meal or doing an activity
- Try to avoid programs that are loud, have a lot of people talking, or are upsetting and violent
- Consider streaming music services or CDs when playing music so that the program doesn’t get interrupted by commercials (which can be jarring and confusing)
- Even outdoor noise can be distracting, so shut windows and doors when doing an activity or watch television to block out competing noise
- Try to minimize noise and confusion for your loved one when you’re out and about. If you’re going to a large event, be sure there is a quiet place for your loved one to escape to if they become overwhelmed
Be patient.
Caregiving is a stressful job, and it can be hard to remain patient when your loved one is asking the same question over and over or can’t remember how to perform a simple task. When you feel yourself getting frustrated or angry, take a breath and remember that your loved one is struggling with a disease – they can’t help the way they act or feel. It’s essential for you to be understanding and kind to them. Here are some ways you can do that:
- Break activities down step-by-step and guide your loved one through the process if they get confused or frustrated
- Remember that it will take longer to do regular activities and tasks. Schedule plenty of time, including time for breaks
- Do your best not to criticize or correct your loved one if they make a mistake or if they’re doing something they enjoy but are not doing it well
- Although it’s hard, don’t try to explain or use logic with your loved one when they are doing something unreasonable – they won’t understand
- Give them time and space to speak. People with dementia often struggle to find the right words and can have long pauses in conversation. Resist the urge to try and finish their sentences or fill in the blanks
Find ways to connect emotionally.
As dementia progresses, your loved one will find it more and more difficult to express their thoughts and feelings. However, the need for understanding, communication and connection doesn’t go away – in fact, it becomes more important than ever. A gentle touch, eye contact, simple questions and treating your loved one like an adult (in other words, no elderspeak) are all ways that you can show respect and provide them dignity.
Provide choices.
Giving your loved one choices helps them feel successful and gives them autonomy. However, making decisions can be overwhelming for someone with dementia, so it’s important to provide them with simple choices that have a binary answer, like “Do you want a hot or cold drink?” or “Would you like to wear the pink shirt or the blue one?” This gives them the ability to make their own choices without the stress of having multiple options.
Let them help around the house.
Your loved one with dementia wants to feel useful, and one great way to do that is by providing them with simple tasks that they can perform. This will help them feel important and a needed part of the household. Make sure that whatever task you choose is appropriate to their ability. Simple things like folding napkins, setting the table or measuring ingredients are all easy ways for them to be involved.
Following these tips will help you as a caregiver to make daily life for your loved one – and yourself – as fulfilling and enjoyable as possible.
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