Forms of dementia like Alzheimer’s disease affect the mind and body in many different ways. Although memory loss is the most well-known indicator and symptom of the disease, there are other challenging behaviors that caregivers will potentially have to manage. Two of these common behaviors include hiding and hoarding objects.
“Challenging behaviors like hiding and hoarding can appear either gradually or suddenly, and normally are out of character from what you would expect from your loved one,” says Trish McKay, Executive Director of Bridges® by EPOCH at Trumbull, a memory care assisted living community in Trumbull, CT. “This is due to the way that the disease is affecting different areas of their brain. Even though caregivers know logically that these symptoms are due to the disease, they still can be distressing and frustrating to deal with.”
Hiding and hoarding can be especially challenging because individuals with dementia will often accuse loved ones of “stealing” items from them (or perhaps they accuse you of hiding the items). “It can be very hard to not react in a knee-jerk way to this because it can be very hurtful to hear someone you care about accusing you of doing something so cruel,” Trish says. “It’s very important to understand why these symptoms are happening and learn how to minimize situations because it will help you better navigate these situations with less stress and frustration.”
Knowing how to react to scenarios with grace and positivity, Trish says, will make everything easier for you and your loved one.
What Causes Hiding and Hoarding?
Alzheimer’s disease and other cognitive illnesses severely affect critical thinking and short-term memory, which results in anxiety and even paranoia. Hiding and hoarding are forms of anxiety-related and paranoid behavior that’s caused due to disorientation and the overall progression of the disease.
Hiding and hoarding items often stems from a need for security, and can be triggered by a variety of things. For example, your loved one may be worried that she will need certain items in the future and wants to make sure they don’t get stolen. Or she may collect cotton balls because they’re soft and comforting, and having them makes her feel secure. Or he may want to keep items because he believes he needs them to remember important things.
Hoarding and hiding isn’t just annoying for caregivers. It actually can be dangerous for both you and your loved one. If the individual with dementia is hoarding necessary items like medication, this can lead to him or her under- or overdosing. Hiding unopened mail can lead to utilities being shut off or other unintended consequences. And if hoarding is causing piles and stacks around the house, it could be a tripping hazard for you or your loved one.
Naturally, caregivers will often try and logically explain the situation to their loved ones with dementia. As you know, though, that doesn’t work, because the behaviors are rooted in the way the brain is changing and your loved one simply can’t understand the issue. However, by understanding the triggers that are causing your loved one to hide and hoard items, you can find ways to manage the behavior.
Tips for Dealing with Hiding and Hoarding
Protect anything valuable or important.
While seniors with dementia can often become fixated on useless or harmless items, they may also become obsessed with important things, like jewelry, identification documents, medicine and other necessary, hard-to-replace items. The best thing to do is make sure that valuable and important items are put in a safe place where your loved one won’t misplace or accidentally lose them.
Create backups of regularly hidden items.
If your loved one with dementia hides a certain item on a regular basis – keys, glasses, wallets, purses and shoes spring to mind – a good way to help alleviate stress and issues is by having backups on hand so that you can “find it” when they’re hunting for it. It’s a small thing that can quickly de-escalate a situation.
Understand your loved one’s triggers.
Dementia behaviors like hiding and hoarding can be triggered by just about anything. While you can’t always predict when your loved one with dementia is going to hide or hoard items, you may be able to notice situations where the behavior becomes more frequent. Maybe it happens when your loved one is bored, or if their routine has been thrown off or even perhaps when they’re hungry. If you can figure out times and situations when they start to act in a certain way, you may be able to help stop a behavior from getting out of hand.
Approach everything with kindness and compassion.
It is easy to get angry and frustrated if your loved one is accusing you of stealing their items, but it’s always best to remain calm and stay positive. Try to remember that your loved one isn’t acting this way on purpose; it’s a symptom of the disease that he or she simply can’t control. By remaining calm and kind, your emotions will rub off on your loved one and make it easier for you to help manage the situation.
Look for and keep an eye on “hiding places.”
Most of the time, your loved one will have a handful of places where they choose to hide things. For example, one caregiver found that her mother kept hiding her purse in the oven! Knowing where he or she usually hides things will help you keep stashes somewhat contained (you may be able to quietly get rid of some items that they are hoarding so the collection doesn’t become overwhelming). It also can help you quickly “find” items that have been lost or misplaced – or at least have a starting point to begin your search!
Sometimes it’s okay to just “let it go.”
If your loved one is hoarding harmless things that aren’t causing you a lot of distress, know that it’s okay to just “let it go.” For example, if Mom or Dad is hiding pens or silverware (as long as it’s clean), you may just want to let them do their thing. It’s possible that these behaviors will go away as dementia continues to progress. One caveat: if your loved one is hiding and hoarding things that could be harmful, like sharp implements or perishable food, you may have to find ways to slowly get rid of things for your loved one’s safety.
Talk to your loved one’s doctor.
It’s always a good idea to meet with your loved one’s doctor when new behaviors arise, especially if you feel that your loved one’s quality of life is being compromised because of them. Your loved one’s doctor may be able to prescribe medications to help manage the symptoms, or perhaps give you additional tips and advice for helping minimize unwanted behaviors.
Make sure your loved one has enjoyable activities to do.
Hiding and hoarding can be caused simply because your loved one is bored and needs something to do. Make sure that he or she has fulfilling and enjoyable activities to do on a regular basis, and that they’re getting enough exercise and social interaction.
Dedicated Memory Care
Bridges® by EPOCH at Trumbull delivers highly specialized memory care assisted living for those with Alzheimer’s disease or other forms of dementia. Our resident-centered approach focuses on providing dignity, purpose and moments of joy in daily life for those in all stages of the disease. We offer a wellness-focused lifestyle that centers around a resident’s current skills and abilities, not those that have been lost to dementia.
Life-Enriching Programs
Our team members take an active role in getting to know each resident on a personal level to deliver programming that is meaningful to them. We account for the preferences, interests, needs and abilities of our residents to connect with them and encourage their involvement in daily life and boost self-esteem.
Warm, Residential Atmosphere
Featuring a stunning residential design, every inch of our community has been designed to benefit those with memory loss. Attributes such as soft colors, directional cues and aromatherapy create a soothing and secure environment where residents feel comfortable, safe and at home.
Bridges® by EPOCH is New England’s largest stand-alone memory care assisted living provider.
Contact us today to learn more.