Ever feel like you’re burning your candle at both ends? Who are we kidding – you’re a caregiver; of course you feel stressed to the max from time to time. We don’t need to tell you that being a caregiver, although rewarding, is also very exhausting. More often than not, you may feel like you don’t have much of a life outside of caregiving – which isn’t a good thing.
“Yes, you’re a caregiver, but you are first and foremost a person with a life of your own,” says Addie Ricci, Executive Director at Bridges® by EPOCH at Norwalk, located in Norwalk, CT. “When we neglect our personal needs and lives for too long, this can result in depression, sadness, anxiety and even caregiver burnout. All these things lead to very real, serious health issues – all of which don’t just put you at risk; it puts your loved one at risk, too.”
There are many articles out there about the importance of caring for yourself while being a family caregiver. But what can you do when you feel like your schedule is packed to the max and you’re still dropping the ball on some aspect of your life?
“There’s no perfect solution,” Addie says. “However, it’s essential for caregivers to find ways to continue to live their lives while also caring for their loved one. This may mean hiring additional help, asking for assistance from friends and family members, or even choosing a memory care assisted living community for your loved one. This does not mean you’re failing your loved one. Rather, you’re actually doing the very best you can to provide the care they need.”
Signs of Caregiver Stress
When we live with heightened stress for a good amount of time, we may not even recognize how stressed we are. In fact, we may feel like it’s “normal.” But while you can fool yourself into thinking everything is fine, you can’t fool your body. If you find yourself or another caregiver experiencing these symptoms, it’s a sign that you or they need to take a step back and practice some self-care. Watch for:
Being completely overwhelmed or overly worried all the time
Being overly exhausted, even if you get a good night’s sleep
Not getting enough sleep or sleeping all the time
Weight fluctuations (either gaining or losing weight in a brief amount of time)
Becoming easily snappy, irritated, angry or frustrated
Experiencing new health issues such as pain, headaches, physical issues or an increase in the severity of any chronic health problems
Feeling incredibly sad or helpless
Abusing drugs or alcohol
“The earlier you recognize that you’re stressed, the easier it is to break the cycle,” says Addie. “While it may seem impossible at the moment to imagine that you can balance your life with the needs of your loved one, take a deep breath: it is completely possible. Here are some tips for helping you meet your own personal needs while also making sure that your loved one gets the care and support they need.”
Ask for help. This is the first tip that you’ll read about when researching how to achieve caregiver-life balance, and by now you may be rolling your eyes at hearing it one more time. The reason we say it so often, though, is because it is truly the most important thing you can do for yourself. You simply can’t care for your loved one 24/7 (think about it – professional caregivers take a break; why shouldn’t you?).
Start by putting together a list of tasks that someone could easily say “yes” to that would make your life much easier. For example, it could be running to the grocery store, taking your loved one to a doctor’s appointment, cleaning the house or sitting with your loved one for an hour. Then, reach out to people you trust and care about and ask them to help with specific tasks. It can be hard to ask for help, especially if the person says no, but don’t let that deter you. You may be surprised at how quickly people say yes.
At the same time, when someone asks, “how can I help?”, be bold and tell them. This is where having a list of tasks will be helpful as well. Specific things are easy to say yes to, and can be a great way for you to take caregiving work off your plate so you can focus on your own life for some time.
Learn to say no. Caregivers can feel incredibly overwhelmed when they’re trying to balance all aspects of life – personal, professional, caregiving and others. Sometimes being the best “you” that you can be is to say “no” to things. Just like asking for help, this can be hard, but making those boundaries will leave you feeling much better and give you more time to do the things you want and need to do.
Be selfish. It’s okay to put yourself first. In fact, it’s essential for remaining healthy. Experts recommend taking time every day to do something nice for yourself, no matter how small. But sometimes you need more than just a “small” break. In that case, it’s time to be selfish and see how you can focus on another part of your life besides caregiving. There are many different resources to help you do this, whether it’s a short-term stay at a memory care assisted living community, adult day care services, hiring help (or having friends and family help) or outsourcing things like grocery shopping and cleaning the house.
Reach out to friends and family. It’s important to stay connected to the people we care about and nurture the relationships we have besides “caregiver.” Remember that you are a friend, spouse, parent, employee and many other things. Staying connected will help you feel less isolated and gives you a chance to de-stress a little. Send texts to friends or family, schedule a call with your sister or host a standing date for a cup of coffee every other week. In a similar vein, having a support group whether in-person or online can provide a space for you to gain support, vent frustrations and simply surround yourself with others who understand completely what you’re going through.
Consider a memory care assisted living community. If your loved one has a cognitive disease like dementia, there will come a point when it’s necessary for them to have around-the-clock care. This is a hard decision, but as experts in the field, we believe that it’s better to move your loved one into a community before you find yourself burned out (or before there’s an incident that necessitates a quick and stressful move). Memory care assisted living communities like Bridges® by EPOCH at Norwalk have been designed to provide fulfilled, high-quality lives for people with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia.
“We’ve seen firsthand how family caregivers’ lives – and the lives of their loved ones – improve greatly after moving their loved one into a memory care community,” Addie says. “This allows family members to remove the caregiving role from their shoulders and step back into their original role as adult child, friend or spouse. In short, this can be one of the best ways to rebalance and recalibrate your life, because it allows you to focus on the important relationship with your loved one and create memorable moments to cherish.”
Expert, Life-Enriching Memory Care
Bridges® by EPOCH at Norwalk provides memory care assisted living that is comfortable, positive, safe and engaging. Exclusively dedicated to caring for those with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia, our community promotes a wellness-focused lifestyle that emphasizes dignity and individual preferences. Our memory care professionals receive specialized, ongoing training designed to help residents maximize their independence in a secure, calm environment – making a truly positive impact on the lives of our residents.
Inspiring Programs for All Stages
Bridges® by EPOCH at Norwalk’s services are designed to recognize and adapt to the unique challenges and individuality of each resident, while ensuring comfort and safety. We believe in a full-service approach to care and provide personalized attention and programming for residents in every stage of memory loss.
Purposeful Community Design
Within a beautiful residential design, Bridges® by EPOCH at Norwalk provides everything residents with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia need to enjoy comfort, familiarity and security. Soft colors, directional cues, aromatherapy and interactive life stations create a soothing and secure environment where residents feel at home.
Bridges® by EPOCH is New England’s largest stand-alone memory care assisted living provider.
Contact us today to learn more.