The CDC reports that more than 16 million Americans are caring for a loved one with dementia today. The majority of these caregivers aren’t professionals, meaning that they are friends or family members who are stepping in to provide needed help and assistance. While caregiving is a selfless task, it can also be a very frustrating and difficult situation for someone who hasn’t been trained in how to help manage and care for someone with cognitive issues. 

“A lot of dementia caregiving involves managing behaviors and providing an atmosphere that allows the individual to function at the highest level possible,” says John Moniz, Executive Director of Bridges® by EPOCH at Hingham. “This can be a hard concept to grasp because managing these symptoms and needs requires the caregiver to think ‘outside the box,’ if you will.”

John explains that normally when we face an issue or problem, we approach it logically to try and fix it. “Logic doesn’t work when helping your loved one with dementia,” he says. “Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia cause changes in the brain that affect their cognition, physical abilities, comprehension and perception, feelings, communication and even their personality. This is distressing not just for the caregiver, but also for the person living with dementia.”

However, it’s important to remember that you are not alone as a caregiver. “There are many resources available to dementia caregivers, particularly memory care assisted living communities like Bridges by EPOCH at Hingham. We believe in being a true partner for all caregivers, even if your loved one is not a resident of our community. We are always available to help provide resources, advice and simply be there as a helping hand.”

One of the ways Bridges® by EPOCH at Hingham helps family caregivers is by providing helpful ways and solutions for caregiving – specifically, how to help manage and mitigate your loved one’s behavior in a beneficial way. Here are some of the more surprising tips and tricks for dementia caregiving that you might not already know. 

1. Accommodate the behavior; don’t try to control it.

Your biggest role as a dementia caregiver is to keep the person with dementia happy, healthy and safe. However, it can be pretty confusing and trying when your loved one insists on acting in a particular way that seems absolutely illogical to you. Many caregivers immediately try to control the behavior, which makes complete sense – to us. However, as we’ve mentioned previously, logic doesn’t work when trying to manage dementia behaviors. Instead, try to find ways to accommodate your loved one’s behavior while also keeping him or her happy, healthy and safe. For example, if your loved one suddenly decides they don’t want to use utensils when eating, choose finger foods instead of trying to get him or her to use a spoon or fork. Or if he or she suddenly wants to sleep on the floor instead of the bed, put a mattress down for comfort.

2. There’s always a reason for the behavior.

People with dementia often can’t tell us directly what they need or want. Instead, they act out in some way, shape or form, often causing a lot of confusion and frustration to the caregiver. Why does your mother insist on taking out all the clothes from her closet on a daily basis, for example? As a dementia caregiver, it’s essential for you to look at the “why” behind the behavior and consider what need your loved one is trying to meet by doing it. For example, Mom may be taking out her clothes because she wants to be productive and helpful. Or your dad gets agitated whenever he needs to use the bathroom. There’s always a trigger for your loved one’s behavior. Learn to recognize certain behaviors and understand what is causing it – and then find ways to disrupt that pattern and meet your loved one’s need. 

3. Don’t rule out medical reasons. 

While many behavioral problems and issues can be symptoms of the disease, some may actually have an underlying medical reason. Mom or Dad may be in pain and can’t tell you, or perhaps their medication is causing them to hallucinate or feel sick. They could also have an infection like a UTI, which manifests differently in older adults and can cause severe issues if not treated. If your loved one is suddenly exhibiting significant behavioral changes, it’s often a good idea to check in with their doctor to see if a medical issue may be the cause. 

4. Your actions and emotions speak louder (and better) than words. 

Dementia is a confusing and scary disease for the person experiencing it. While they may not be able to communicate through words, they can communicate through emotions – and they also can pick up on your emotions very easily. It is a surprise for dementia caregivers to understand that they can actually control the situation and their loved one’s reactions much more than they first realize. If your loved one is agitated, unsure, insecure or afraid, they will look to you for how to behave. If you’re angry, anxious, frustrated or upset, they will react to that. Often, changing your behavior and approach will result in a change in your loved one’s behavior. Try to remain patient, pleasant and calm whenever possible. This will often work wonders and help your loved one feel secure, safe and loved. 

5. Laughter really is the best medicine. 

Humor is a wonderful therapeutic tool for everyone – especially those with memory loss. While dementia is no joke, that doesn’t mean that humor and laughter no longer have a place in your loved one’s life. In fact, studies have shown that humorous situations and laughing together can relieve stress just as well – if not better – than medication can. Laughter is a natural “pressure release” that boosts endorphins and even increases the bond with another person. Look for the humor in everyday life, and also seek out opportunities to laugh with your loved one. Watch funny movies or a TV show, or feel free to laugh at yourself if you’ve done something silly or humorous. Feel free to crack jokes, too. The most important thing to remember is that the humor should be a shared thing – you’re not laughing at your loved one; you’re laughing with your loved one. 

6. When in doubt, exercise. 

The majority of us don’t get enough exercise in our everyday lives. People with dementia often live very sedentary lifestyles due to their declining abilities. Regular physical activity is incredibly important for this group because exercise can help maintain abilities and even boost cognitive function. Exercise also helps “wear them out,” which can reduce unwanted behaviors and help them sleep at night. Try to get at least 20 minutes of exercise with your loved one each day. It doesn’t have to be a huge effort – gardening, walking around the block or helping out around the house all add up towards that physical activity threshold.

7. If it doesn’t work, try, try again. 

Dementia is an ever-changing disease, and what works with your loved one today may not work tomorrow. Because of the progression of dementia, you may need to adjust your solutions on a regular basis, or you may find that some of them cease to be helpful. That’s okay. The trick is to be flexible, be creative and understand the ever-shifting demands of the disease. 

Caregiving for someone with dementia is demanding and stressful, but it can also be a rewarding and bonding experience for you. Remember that there are resources available to you, so don’t ever feel like you have to go at it alone. When you reach a time when you feel like you aren’t able to successfully care for your loved one yourself, consider connecting with a memory care assisted living community like the ones at Bridges® by EPOCH, New England’s largest stand-alone memory care assisted living provider.

Exceptional Care & Fulfilling Lifestyle

Bridges® by EPOCH at Hingham provides memory care assisted living that is comfortable, positive, safe and engaging. Exclusively dedicated to caring for those with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia, our community offers a wellness-focused lifestyle that promotes dignity and individual preferences. Our memory care professionals receive specialized and ongoing training designed to help residents maximize their independence in a secure, calm environment – enriching the lives of our residents every day.

Inspiring Programs for All Stages

No matter what level of care or service is needed, residents and families can rest assured that our care and life-enrichment programs address the various stages of memory decline, allowing residents the opportunity to age in place.

Dedicated Memory Care

At Bridges® by EPOCH at Hingham, our services are designed to recognize and adapt to the unique challenges and individuality of each resident, while ensuring comfort and safety. We believe in a full-service approach to care and provide a high level of personalized attention for residents in various stages of memory loss.

Bridges® by EPOCH is New England’s largest stand-alone memory care assisted living provider.

Contact us today to learn more.