For caregivers of seniors with dementia, the holidays are often a lot more high stress than holly-jolly. Every aspect of the season has to be weighed and considered against the abilities, needs and safety of your loved one. But that doesn’t mean you can’t find ways to celebrate the season, says Devon Sicard, Executive Director of Bridges® by EPOCH at Pembroke, a Memory Care Assisted Living community in Pembroke, MA.
“Yes, the holidays often mean extra work and coordination on your part, but it’s definitely worth the effort” she says. “This time of year is a wonderful opportunity for you to bond with your loved one as well as friends and family members. It can be especially meaningful for your senior loved one with dementia, because he or she may still be able to remember favorite traditions and memories from holidays in their childhood.”
As you plan an enjoyable and less-stressed holiday season, be sure to follow these tips in order to make it the best experience possible for you and your loved one.
Stay flexible.
We don’t need to tell you that flexibility is key when it comes to being a caregiver to someone with dementia. You know better than anyone else what your loved one will enjoy or what might make them feel uncomfortable. As you make plans and put them into action, remember to be flexible and listen to your instincts. If you do hold a gathering or attend one, watch your loved one and be ready to take steps to make him or her more comfortable.
Stick to your schedule as much as possible.
Even as you’re being flexible, try to stay within your loved one’s schedule and established routine as much as possible. As you know, routine is very important to seniors living with dementia, and causing too many changes can trigger anxiety or other unwanted behaviors. If you are planning a holiday gathering or event, make sure to do it at your loved one’s best time of day, and keep mealtimes and bedtimes around their regular schedule. Your loved one will be much calmer and happier, and you’ll be a lot less stressed.
Plan fun and dementia-friendly activities.
Some of the best parts of the holiday season are doing festive activities together. Fortunately, there are many perfect seasonal activities you and your loved one can do. Make garlands of paper chains, wrap presents, bake cookies, listen and sing along to holiday music, watch favorite movies … the list is as endless as your imagination. Remember to focus not on the outcome, but on the simple act of being together. Who cares if your cookies look less than perfect? They’ll still taste delicious.
Go light on the decorations.
Holiday decorations are fun and cheerful, but they also can be breakable, flammable or frightening for your senior loved one. As you deck the halls, avoid anything that could be a potential hazard, like twinkling lights (which could disorient your senior, causing them to fall), and candles or decorations that move and make noise on their own (which can be very frightening and cause unwanted behaviors). Instead, go for simple and subtle. Wreathes, ribbons and stuffed holiday icons may be enough to bring the happiness indoors without causing additional stress.
Give yourself permission to say “no.”
Much of the stress of the holiday season comes from responsibilities and expectations we put on our own shoulders. This year, take a breath and give yourself permission to do only what you can – and not drive yourself crazy trying to do everything. Buy pre-made cookies instead of baking them, if that saves you time and stress. Bow out of your annual parties with book clubs and social groups, if they’re simply too much effort. The best way to enjoy the holiday season is to give yourself space to do just that. Sitting in front of the fireplace with a good book and a cup of cocoa can be restorative and just as fun as a holiday party.
Ask for help.
Treat yourself this holiday season by asking for help from friends and family members. Perhaps one of them could watch your loved one for a weekend so you can take a mini-break to do something you love. Or maybe a friend can help you run errands or tackle other chores that are on your to-do list. Consider putting together a list of specific tasks and requests so you have something on hand when someone asks, “how can I help?” You can also arrange for paid caregiver help regularly – that can be your Christmas gift to yourself.
Understand what you can and can’t control.
In our heart of hearts, we want our loved one to have a happy holiday season, but the reality is that you can only do so much. Your loved one may not understand what’s going on, or they may simply be in a grouchy mood during the season. It’s hard when we build up expectations only to have them dashed. However, be kind to yourself and remember that all you can do is make the best possible effort. If your loved one isn’t enjoying him or herself, it’s not your fault – you can only control so much. Instead, look for the happiness as it comes and celebrate those moments when they occur instead of beating yourself up over “missed opportunities.”
“Being a caregiver is all about enjoying the moments as they occur,” says Devon. “2020 has been hard on all of us and has made this holiday season rather unique. Instead of worrying about making it perfect, focus instead on making it happy, and both you and your loved one will be the better for it.”
Expert, Life-Enriching Memory Care
Bridges® by EPOCH at Pembroke provides memory care assisted living that is comfortable, positive, safe and engaging. Exclusively dedicated to caring for those with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia, our community promotes a wellness-focused lifestyle that emphasizes dignity and individual preferences. Our memory care professionals receive specialized, ongoing training designed to help residents maximize their independence in a secure, calm environment – making a truly positive impact on the lives of our residents.
Inspiring Programs for All Stages
Bridges® by EPOCH at Pembroke’s services are designed to recognize and adapt to the unique challenges and individuality of each resident, while ensuring comfort and safety. We believe in a full-service approach to care and provide personalized attention and programming for residents in every stage of memory loss.
Purposefully Designed Community
Within a beautiful residential design, Bridges® by EPOCH at Pembroke provides everything residents with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia need to enjoy comfort, familiarity and security. Soft colors, directional cues, aromatherapy and interactive life stations create a soothing and secure environment where residents feel at home.
Contact us today to learn more.