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Memory Care Planning: 5 Common Mistakes to Avoid

Friday, November 20, 2020

When you or your loved one has been diagnosed with a memory ailment such as Alzheimer’s disease or another form of dementia, or if you know that memory issues run in your family, it’s important to have plans in place to ensure the care and safety of the individual. However, most people don’t like to think about this reality. For many, memory care planning is something that gets pushed aside until it can’t be ignored.

“Although it’s not enjoyable to think about or plan for, it is essential to have a good plan in place when it comes to the care of you or your loved one,” says Barbara Harrison, Executive Director of Bridges® by EPOCH at Westwood, a Memory Care Assisted Living community in Westwood, MA. “This will help everyone involved feel more secure and as comfortable as possible when it comes to dealing with what lies ahead.”

Here are some of the most common mistakes that are made when planning for memory care, as well as suggestions and ideas on how to avoid them.

1. Waiting too long to start planning.

This is perhaps the biggest mistake that families and individuals make. Because memory issues can manifest slowly, it’s easy to discount lapses as “senior moments” or a normal part of aging. That’s why it’s very important, when you notice something wrong or concerning, to visit a physician to get a diagnosis. The earlier you can diagnose memory problems, the better care your loved one will receive – and the more time you have to make plans.

Another reason people may wait to start planning is because they are in denial of the issue, or they think it can be done “later.” Unfortunately, delaying the discussion will only make the situation worse, not better. Those with dementia will never get “better”; their condition will continue to deteriorate until they are no longer able to make decisions for themselves.

Planning for current and future memory care as soon as possible allows the diagnosed individual to provide his or her input as much as possible. This gives them the chance to make plans according to their wishes and also be as clear as possible when it comes to their future. Having a clear, thought-out plan in place that has been blessed by a senior loved one provides comfort to them that their wishes are being followed, and comfort for family members knowing that the decision has already been made.

2. Being unaware of what will happen and how the disease will progress.

Denial is a very strong state of being, and it’s common – whether from stubbornness, fear or any other emotion – for family members and maybe even the individual with dementia to deny that certain things will happen. Your loved one may even avoid going to the doctor because they don’t wish to know what’s happening to them, or they refuse to learn more about the dementia process. (This can happen with family members as well.)

Understanding the details of the disease and how it will progress will allow you and your loved ones to better understand what is needed now and what will be needed in the future. Although it’s scary to think about losing one’s memory and abilities, the ultimate goal is and should always be setting up the best quality of life for the individual living with the disease. Learning as much as you can about the disease can help you put plans into place now that will benefit everyone later – for example, researching different memory care communities in the area and deciding when is the best time to move into a place with around-the-clock care.

3. Not realizing how much dementia affects the family.

Family members are considered the secondary victims of dementia, because it’s such an all-encompassing disease. While only one person lives with the disease, the rest of the family has to pick up the pieces and do everything they can to keep their loved one safe. This means taking over finances, health decisions and even personal care. The stress of being a caregiver in any form is significant, as well as costly.

You and your loved ones should sit down as soon as possible to get the lay of the land and determine who can be responsible for what moving forward. No one person can handle all the caregiving responsibilities on their own. It takes a whole family to manage, care for and provide a high quality of life for a loved one with dementia.

4. Not looking into financial assistance and options.

Dementias like Alzheimer’s disease are quite costly – in fact, they are some of the most costly diseases to live with considering that much of the necessary services are not covered by individual insurance plans, Medicare or Medicaid. While skilled nursing and hospice services are covered by government health plans, other aspects like personal care, transportation and the cost of living at a memory care assisted living community are not. As soon as possible, family members should research the costs their loved ones may incur and find ways to help cover the high price tag.

Fortunately, there are many community organizations that can provide assistance on a low- or no-cost basis. Contact your local Area Agency on Aging or your community chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association® to find out what resources are available to you. You may also wish to connect with a social worker or a financial expert specializing in eldercare to help you find different programs and benefits that can help provide financial assistance.

5. Making decisions out of guilt or because it’s what you feel you “should” do.

Everyone’s circumstance is unique, and the decision you make needs to be based on what’s right for you and your family – without bringing any personal or emotional baggage along. Maybe you promised Mom or Dad that you’d never put them in “a home.” Maybe you feel obligated to be a live-in caregiver because you feel guilty about the relationship you had with your parents as a child or an adult. While these decisions stem from a desire to be kind and helpful, they are ultimately not the best choices for you.

Although it can be hard, you and your loved ones need to make memory care plans that will provide the very best possible quality of life for your loved one with dementia – regardless of what you may have promised in the past or what you think others might say. Your loved one’s care is the most important thing, so be sure to always let that guide you.

Exceptional Care & Fulfilling Lifestyle

Bridges® by EPOCH at Westwood provides memory care assisted living that is comfortable, positive, safe and engaging. Exclusively dedicated to caring for those with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia, our community offers a wellness-focused lifestyle that promotes dignity and individual preferences. Our memory care professionals receive specialized and ongoing training designed to help residents maximize their independence in a secure, calm environment – enriching the lives of our residents every day.

Inspiring Programs for All Stages

No matter what level of care or service is needed, residents and families can rest assured that our care and life enrichment programs address the various stages of memory decline, allowing residents the opportunity to age in place.

Dedicated Memory Care

At Bridges® by EPOCH at Westwood, our services are designed to recognize and adapt to the unique challenges and individuality of each resident, while ensuring comfort and safety. We believe in a full-service approach to care and provide a high level of personalized attention for residents in various stages of memory loss.

Contact us today to learn more.

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