It’s no secret that the holidays can be a stressful time for many reasons. If your family member is living with Alzheimer’s disease or another form of dementia, this can add another stressor. And this year, COVID-19 is adding an extra layer of worry for families across the country.
“This year has shown us more than ever that the bonds of family and friends are so important,” says Reshma Nair, Executive Director of Bridges® by EPOCH at Andover, a Memory Care Assisted Living community in Andover, MA. “Most of us are planning to celebrate with the ones we love in some fashion, and that extends to our loved ones with dementia, too.”
What is the best way to celebrate with others while keeping your loved one with dementia safe? Your first reaction may be to cancel gatherings completely or bow out of regularly scheduled events. However, being around family and celebrating the traditions that are important to us can be quite beneficial to your loved one.
By modifying some traditions and adjusting your expectations, you and your family can find meaningful ways to celebrate the season together, whether your senior loved one is living at home or in a community.
At Home
If your loved one with dementia is being cared for in a home environment, putting up festive decorations and getting in a merry mood is a great way to celebrate the season. As you’re putting up decor, make sure you’re avoiding decorations that have blinking lights or large displays that could cause confusion. You’ll also want to make sure that decorations don’t cause clutter, or require you to rearrange a familiar room.
Some of the best parts of the holidays are participating in favorite activities, like cookie decorating, singing carols and watching yearly specials. All of these and more can be adapted so that your loved one can participate. Focus on the task at hand rather than the outcome – don’t worry about whether or not the cookies are perfectly decorated, or if the batter didn’t quite get assembled the way it should. The activity is the important part.
Spending time with family and friends is a huge part of the enjoyment of the season. And yes, even with COVID-19, you can still host a small celebration. It is recommended by the CDC to celebrate only with those in your immediate household – or with others virtually. A small gathering is a good idea, anyway, as large groups can become overwhelming for your loved one. If you do have guests outside of your household, it is highly recommended for guests to maintain a distance of six feet apart. Be sure to hold the celebration during the time of day when your loved one is at their best.
Planning gatherings around activities can also provide entertainment and distraction for your loved one. You could read favorite holiday stories, watch classic movies, sing songs or look through photos and reminisce over holidays past. You can also take a drive throughout neighborhoods at night to look at the seasonal decorations.
Of course, be sure to take all recommended precautions in order to keep you and your loved one safe and healthy. You can view the CDC’s recommendations for holiday celebrations here.
At a Memory Care Community
While visitations and celebrations may be limited in person, there are fortunately other great ways for families to connect with their loved ones. Here are some ideas on how you can connect with a senior loved one over the holidays if he or she is living in a memory care assisted living community.
- Drop off a holiday gift package and arrange a video call where you can watch your loved one open it.
- Hold a virtual caroling session if your family is musically inclined – have a video call with your loved one and sing some of their favorite carols. Hopefully, he or she will join in. It’s possible you could also hold an actual caroling session if you’re in town – ask the community if it would be possible for your loved one to stand on the patio while you sing carols in person while maintaining a safe distance.
- Show off your home decor during a video call and talk to your loved one about some of your favorite pieces (and the memories associated with them).
- Have family members (especially younger children) make holiday cards and send them throughout the season so your loved one has something fun to open.
Caring for Yourself
Whether your loved one is living with you or is in a memory care assisted living community, it’s important to remember to provide self-care for yourself during the holidays. This is a stressful time of year during normal times. Remind yourself that you can’t do it all and that you don’t have to do it all. If you’re feeling overwhelmed at any point, remember that “no” is a complete sentence. It’s perfectly fine to set realistic expectations for yourself and stand up for yourself when you simply can’t do it all. This may mean picking and choosing what events you attend this year – and that’s okay.
Make time for yourself, too, so you can find time to destress and unwind. This may mean delegating tasks to others – again, which is perfectly fine. If you’re going to an event or a family gathering, ask another family member if they can help you care for your loved one while you’re there so you can enjoy yourself.
This is an unprecedented time, so be kind to yourself. There is no right or wrong way to celebrate the holidays – the important part is to reflect on this unique time, spend time with the people you care about and enjoy yourself as much as possible while providing the best possible care for your loved one.
Exceptional Care. Engaging Lifestyle.
Bridges® by EPOCH at Andover provides specialized memory care in an assisted living environment that is comfortable, positive and welcoming. Built solely to care for those with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia, Bridges® by EPOCH at Andover creates a wellness-focused, engaging lifestyle that respects individual preferences, focuses on residents’ abilities and creates meaning in daily life.
Dedicated Memory Care.
Through every stage of memory loss, residents and their families have complete peace of mind. Our compassionate dementia care and unique programs are tailored to meet the physical, cognitive and emotional needs of each resident wherever they are on their own journey, allowing them to age in place safely, comfortably and with dignity.
Supportive, Purpose-Built Design.
Featuring a stunning residential design, Bridges® by EPOCH at Andover is much more than a beautiful place to live; it’s a community where residents’ lives are enriched and families enjoy meaningful moments together. Our research-based design features soft colors and lighting, directional cues, aromatherapy and interactive life-enrichment stations that empower residents to explore their homes with confidence.