Doctor’s appointments can be tedious and time-consuming, even for those of us who are completely healthy. But when your loved one has Alzheimer’s disease or another form of dementia, the numerous doctor’s visits are essential for making sure your loved one receives the best care possible. How do you manage the seemingly endless parade of doctors, specialists and health professionals, keep all the information straight and maximize your time to get your questions answered?
“When your loved one has dementia, you have to be strategic in order to make the most of your doctor’s visits,” says Erica Labb, Executive Director of Bridges® by EPOCH at Westford. “Everyone who has had a doctor’s appointment knows that doctors are busy, overscheduled and don’t have a lot of time with each patient before running off to the next. It is your responsibility to be your loved one’s advocate and get the information and care you need in the most efficient way possible.”
Another difficulty with doctor visits can be your loved one themselves. Office visits can be highly stressful for people with dementia or another form of cognitive disease, and as their disease progresses, their attitude and experiences will change as well. In order to manage your loved one, it’s up to caregivers to get questions answered in the limited time available.
“As with anything related to dementia and the care of those with the disease, the trick is organization, prioritization and efficiency,” says Erica. “Being prepared will make you the most effective caregiver possible while minimizing the stress to your loved one.”
Before the Appointment
A successful doctor’s visit begins before you even step foot in the office. Take some time to think about what needs to happen. What is the most important thing you want to accomplish at this visit? Following that, what would you like to happen? Prioritize your needs so that, even if you only have a short time with the specialist, the most important things will get taken care of.
Experts suggest writing down your questions and to have a “script” ready so that you can maximize time with the doctor. This will also enable you to go over and change priorities if necessary. It’s possible that, by the time you get to the doctor’s appointment, what you thought was top priority has actually been overridden by something else. Having notes with you will help you provide you the most detailed information – something you might not see as significant, for example, may end up being critical for helping the doctor prescribe the best possible care.
If your loved one wishes to participate and is functional enough to do so, have them prepare questions of their own to bring to the appointment. They may want to discuss things you hadn’t thought about, or had not realized were an issue. Remember that your loved one is still an adult who deserves respect, and this is their care you are discussing; they have just as much right (if not more) to lead the discussion and gain needed information.
You may also wish to record the session with the doctor, if it’s allowed. Call the office beforehand to see if this would be permissible. Having a recording will allow you to listen back to instructions so you don’t miss any important information.
During the Appointment
As you know, there’s a lot of waiting involved with doctor’s appointments. So be sure to bring everything you might need to keep your loved one calm (and yourself). Bring books, games, snacks or anything else that will bring comfort to your loved one.
When you actually see the doctor, be prepared with information to “back up” your points or your concerns. Some caregivers choose to keep a “log book” that records different aspects of their senior loved one’s life. This makes it easier to show doctors certain behaviors, when behaviors or issues occur and the like.
If possible, you may wish to find an opportunity to speak to the doctor privately so you can speak freely without worrying about upsetting your loved one. Your senior may not realize some of the behaviors they are exhibiting (after all, one of the trademarks of dementia is the person not realizing they have a problem), and saying things like “she asks for her dead mother every night” can be traumatizing and embarrassing.
Most importantly, remember you are there to help your loved one get the best care possible. If you don’t fully understand what the doctor is explaining or asking, ask questions again and again until you get the explanation (or answer) you need. Don’t be intimidated by the doctor, either. If you aren’t getting the answers you need, it’s perfectly all right to keep poking at the issue. You also are not beholden to one particular doctor if you feel like you’re not getting the answers, care or attention you want. Remember, you are the advocate, and the doctor’s job is to help you and your loved one.
After the Appointment
Many caregivers plan for a “treat” or fun event after a doctor’s appointment to help their loved one feel better and associate the visit with something enjoyable. Whether that’s stopping for ice cream, going to a movie or heading out for a walk in the park, pick something that both of you will enjoy and will help end the day on a positive note.
Once you’re back at home, review your notes and make sure you have a clear plan of action moving forward. Are there new medications you need to manage? Is there another specialist you need to visit? Are there things you need to change in your lifestyle to better improve your loved one’s behavior? If you are confused or if there are items that need clarification, call your doctor’s office back and speak to the nurse. A good doctor will understand that care is a conversation, and a doctor’s visit is a dialogue that can go on for days or weeks after the initial check-in.
Doctor’s visits are a fact of life when your loved one has memory issues, but they don’t have to be a chore. With some planning, a good attitude and confidence, you can turn each visit into a beneficial experience for you and your loved one.
Comprehensive Memory Care
Bridges® by EPOCH at Westford delivers highly specialized memory care assisted living for those with Alzheimer’s disease or other forms of dementia. Our resident-centered approach focuses on providing dignity, purpose and moments of joy in daily life for those in all stages of the disease. We offer a wellness-focused lifestyle that centers around a resident’s current skills and abilities, not those that have been lost to dementia.
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