Alicia Seaver is the Vice President of Memory Care Operations for EPOCH Senior Living and a Certified Memory Impairment Specialist. Every month, she addresses a specific issue related to memory and memory care. If you’re interested in hearing about a particular topic, please send a note to [email protected].
Q: My grandmother has dementia, and when I go to visit her at home, she cries because she feels lonely. What can I do to help her feel less lonely?
A: Unfortunately, loneliness, boredom and depression are common issues among people with dementia. Even if your grandmother’s memory isn’t perfect, her feelings are very real and can have a significant impact on her quality of life. In fact, it’s been found that the emotions and feelings of those with cognitive issues often last much longer than the memory of what caused them!
According to the United Kingdom Alzheimer’s Society Dementia 2012 Report, 61% of individuals diagnosed with dementia reported they felt lonely. 77% of the respondents said they were anxious or depressed. What’s really interesting is that a third study discovered that there was a link between loneliness and increased hallucinations in individuals living with early-stage dementia. Researchers suggested that hallucinations could be a result of the individual’s mind compensating for a lack of social interaction.
Boredom is another common issue among those with Alzheimer’s (and something that is also closely linked to loneliness). Boredom can exacerbate loneliness and increase the incidence of anxiety, wandering, depression and other unwanted behaviors.
At Bridges® by EPOCH, we’ve discovered that when we help those with Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias have more social interaction, they are less lonely, less bored and don’t exhibit unwanted behaviors nearly as much. But what’s more important is that the person’s quality of life improves tremendously. We’ve known for a long time that our basic needs of human connection and fulfillment don’t fade with our abilities – in fact, these needs become even more important for those with dementia.
What can you, as a caregiver or loved one, do to help your senior with dementia overcome loneliness? While there is no cookie-cutter solution, here are some suggestions of things you can start with and adapt to your loved one’s needs, situation and interests.
First of all, pay attention to him or her – and be mindful of how they are feeling. Does she appear lonely? Is he looking sad? Take some time to sit with them and chat – even if they don’t talk to you, it will let them know that there is someone who cares. Be sure to use their name – this is a reminder that they are important, respected and loved. Don’t forget about the importance of a caring touch. Give her a hug or put your hand on his shoulder when you’re talking. Appropriate touch communicates to those with dementia that you value them as a person, which can help reduce feelings of loneliness.
Think about things that perk him or her up. Does she light up when your cat walks into the room? Or is he thrilled when he has the opportunity to sort things into piles? Find the things that spark their interest, and make an extra effort to provide an appropriate activity or encourage interaction. There have also been numerous studies about how familiar music can spark interest and memories in individuals with dementia – put together a playlist of your loved one’s favorite songs and encourage them to sing along.
Of course, there is no substitution for friendships. We encourage family members and caregivers to seek out friendships for their loved ones with dementia. One great way to do this is by using a service like adult day care or even hiring a companion for them. Not only does this provide you with a bit of respite, but it also gives your loved one an opportunity to form friendships, be stimulated and have interaction with people besides you.
As you’re caring for your loved one’s loneliness, don’t forget to take care of yourself, too. Caregivers often report feeling loneliness and depression – after all, it’s a lot of time and effort to care for someone with dementia. Bridges® by EPOCH understands the important role that family caregivers play, and are always available to talk, listen and provide advice to help improve the quality of life for your loved one, your family and yourself.
Enhancing Quality of Life
Bridges® by EPOCH communities have been developed from the ground up to anticipate, meet and exceed the needs of our residents and their families. Our team of remarkable people, the exceptional care and services we offer and the purposeful design of our buildings all combine to create the most rewarding, secure and nurturing lifestyle possible for our residents.
We understand the concern families feel about ensuring quality of life for loved ones. That’s why, at Bridges® by EPOCH, we offer a wellness-centered lifestyle that focuses on reinforcing individual strength so residents enjoy heightened confidence and self-esteem. Ultimately, we provide everything residents need to thrive and rediscover a life with purpose.
Inspiration for Success
At our Bridges® by EPOCH communities, we work closely with families to gain necessary insight and deeper understanding into the lives of our residents upon admission. With this initial information, along with what our exceptional team members learn about our residents each and every day, we are best prepared to provide highly individualized programming for our residents.