Creating a caregiver team is a necessary complement to caring for your loved one with dementia, says Alicia Seaver, Vice President of Memory Care Operations for EPOCH Senior Living and a Certified Memory Impairment Specialist.
“A caregiver team is made up of a group of people who will help you provide care, connection and assistance throughout your loved one’s dementia journey,” she says. “This will be an incredible form of support not just for you as the caregiver, but also for your loved one with dementia. Having a group of people and professionals to rely on will help minimize stress, keep you from feeling overwhelmed and provide peace of mind.”
Whenever possible, Alicia says, the person with dementia should have the largest say in developing their care team. This is particularly essential if the individual is in the early stages of dementia and can still make significant decisions for their long-term care. However, even if your loved one is in the middle or later stages of dementia, he or she should still be involved in care team selection and decision, says Alicia.
“It shouldn’t be assumed that someone with dementia is unable to make their own decisions,” she says. “In fact, your loved one with dementia should be supported and encouraged to make their own decisions about care plans, lifestyle and financial matters for as long as possible. This is especially important when it comes to a care team so that your loved one is surrounded by people who are important to him or her.”
Step 1: Create a List of Potential Team Members
A caregiver team isn’t just made up of professionals – it also includes friends, family and other important people in your and your loved one’s life. As you begin the process of putting together a caregiving team, the first step is to sit down and write a list of everyone with whom you or your loved one interact on a regular basis. Put down everyone who comes to mind – you can narrow down the list later. Here are some suggestions of people to list:
- Siblings
- A significant other (yours or your loved one’s)
- Any adult children, nieces or nephews
- Close friends
- Neighbors
- Church members or people from other community groups
- Grandchildren
Step 2: Review Each Person’s Strengths
Now that you have a list of people, it’s time to narrow down your options based on each individual’s personal strengths. Is your brother skilled with finances? Does your cousin have nursing skills or experience in working with seniors? Is your best friend a good listener who can provide strong emotional support when you need it? Can your retired neighbor help run Mom or Dad back and forth to doctor’s appointments when you need help? Be sure to review each person’s personality, attitude and relationship with your loved one while assessing their strengths. You’ll want the care team to be filled with positive people who are willing to help and not bring any negativity or criticism to the table.
Step 3: Bring Your Team Together (and Assign Roles)
Now, go through your list and pick the all-stars – the people you can rely on and who you want on your side throughout this journey. Once you’ve identified these people, think about specific tasks each of them is best suited for. The more specific and detailed a task, the better. This will make it easier for people to say “yes” (and will help you in the future when others ask how they can help – you’ll already have a list at hand).
Finally, contact the people on your list and ask them if they would be willing to help be a part of your caregiving team. Don’t press for an answer right away – it’s best to give them time to think it over, since this could be a big decision. Let them know what tasks you think they may be able to help you with, and listen if they over alternates or suggestions. If the person declines, don’t take it personally. If they accept, gather their contact information and, if possible, a rough weekly schedule which will allow you to know their availability at a glance.
Step 4: Gather the Pros
Now it’s time to bring in the professionals. We’re not talking about doctors – you and your loved one should already have a team of physicians and medical professionals who are helping on the healthcare end. These professionals have specific skills that can help you get the technical, legal and financial aspects of caregiving organized and squared away. Some examples of professionals to connect with are:
- Financial planners (either your current one or one who specializes in working with seniors)
- A geriatric care manager (available often through a hospital or senior center)
- Social workers or advisers
- Therapists
- Attorneys
- VA, Medicare or Medicaid advisors
Step 5: Fill In the Gaps
Take a look through your caregiving team. Are there any gaps that you see? Any places where you could use a little extra help? Any remaining gaps in your plan can be filled by paid services or volunteers. For example, adult day care centers or in-home care providers can be an excellent option to provide supervision for your loved one if you need to run errands, take care of your own family, go to work or enjoy a bit of respite time. Cleaning services or meal delivery services are other options you can research to help reduce your workload, simplify your schedule and give you a little bit of breathing room.
“Having a caregiver team in place will help you and your loved one greatly as you navigate the dementia journey,” says Alicia. “Knowing a core team of people has your back and is there to help whenever necessary will reduce stress, make decisions easier and give you peace of mind that you’re never alone.”
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