Alicia Seaver is the Vice President of Memory Care Operations for EPOCH Senior Living and a Certified Memory Impairment Specialist. Every month, she addresses a specific issue related to memory and memory care. If you’re interested in hearing about a particular topic, please send a note to [email protected].
Q: I’m a caregiver for my mom, and sometimes she does or says things that just cause me to burst out laughing. I feel bad for doing that, but honestly, they’re sometimes just so funny. Is this normal?
A: Isn’t having a good laugh a wonderful feeling? I always feel better after I’ve chuckled at a funny joke or watched a silly YouTube video. Caregiving is a tough job, and an important job, but there are lots of funny things about it, too. In fact, humorous moments are more common than you’d think! Many caregivers enjoy sharing stories about the comedic antics they or their loved one get into. While it may initially seem a little disrespectful to find humor in these situations, here’s some good news: experts all agree that it’s just fine – in fact, it’s necessary! – to find humor in your caregiving journey.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention™ (CDC), many individuals with dementia – eighty-seven percent – are being cared for at home. That’s a lot of in-home caregivers dealing with a lot of stress. Stress is never good for anyone, but for caregivers and their loved ones with dementia, it can have real, physical effects. Stress causes our immune system to weaken, increases the risk of depression and also increases the risk for serious conditions like heart disease and diabetes.
Fortunately, one of the easiest ways to help relieve stress is through humor. They say that laughter is the best medicine, and that’s not just colloquial – it’s a fact! Laughter has been proven to help caregivers by:
- Helping relieving stress
- Improving mental health
- Strengthening family bonds
- Improving the immune system (really!)
- Diffusing tension and lightening moods and situations
- Finding happiness in the moment
Humor has benefits for people with dementia, too. Remember, just because the disease causes changes in the people we love, it doesn’t mean it changes them. They still have a sense of humor and can still benefit greatly from a good belly laugh! In fact, humor and laughter have been shown to help alleviate anxiety and even certain unwanted behaviors, like aggression. Laughter can also help those with dementia by:
- Reducing stress
- Helping reduce the risk of depression
- Allowing opportunities to redirect negative emotions
- Improving social interaction and deepening relationships
Now, humor is best when it’s shared. So don’t be afraid to share a laugh or tell a funny story to your loved one or to friends and family members. Individuals with dementia will react to how you’re feeling, so if you’re laughing instead of getting upset during a challenge, it’s likely they’ll join in with your laughter and make the task that much simpler. Bonus points if he or she cracks a joke or notices something funny that causes you to laugh!
Which brings me to a very important point: you must always be sure that you’re laughing “with,” not laughing “at.” No one likes to be laughed at, but for individuals with dementia, being made fun of can be degrading.
When you’re a caregiver, your role is all-encompassing. Without humor to help temper the day-in, day-out stress, you’ll find yourself constantly under an Eeyore-like dark cloud. Remember the power of positive thinking and seek out humor in your everyday life. Even on the worst days, there are funny things that happen. By recognizing and appreciating those moments, you’ll be a better, happier caregiver – and your loved one will be happier, too.
Enhancing Quality of Life
Bridges® by EPOCH communities have been developed from the ground up to anticipate, meet and exceed the needs of our residents and their families. Our team of remarkable people, the exceptional care and services we offer and the purposeful design of our buildings all combine to create the most rewarding, secure and nurturing lifestyle possible for our residents.
We understand the concern families feel about ensuring quality of life for loved ones. That’s why, at Bridges® by EPOCH, we offer a wellness-centered lifestyle that focuses on reinforcing individual strength so residents enjoy heightened confidence and self-esteem. Ultimately, we provide everything residents need to thrive and rediscover a life with purpose.
Inspiration for Success
At our Bridges® by EPOCH communities, we work closely with families to gain necessary insight and deeper understanding into the lives of our residents upon admission. With this initial information, along with what our exceptional team members learn about our residents each and every day, we are best prepared to provide highly individualized programming for our residents.