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What to Do When Your Loved One with Dementia Refuses Bath Time

For most of us, the thought of a warm, relaxing bath or shower sounds blissful. For individuals with a dementia like Alzheimer’s disease, however, bathing or showering can become a battle between themselves and their caregivers. Failing personal hygiene is a very common symptom of dementia, and can be one of the more frustrating tasks that falls to caregivers.

“It can be confusing and downright aggravating to caregivers when their loved ones with dementia refuse to bathe,” says Nat Grim, Executive Director of Bridges® by EPOCH at Mashpee. “Bathing is such an integral part of our routines that your loved one’s refusal seems completely illogical – especially if he or she has always been clean and tidy in the past.”

As with most symptoms of dementia, the reasons behind your loved one refusing to get clean are varied and due to the changes happening in their brains. “It’s possible that your senior doesn’t remember why it’s important to bathe, or think that they’ve already taken a shower today,” Nat says. “It can also be a reaction to the loss of privacy or because bathing has become uncomfortable. In order to help make bathing less of a battle, it’s essential to understand why he or she is reacting in a particular way.”

Why Is This Happening? 

Cognitive impairment. Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias affect the brain in a variety of different ways. This can cause behavioral challenges, sensitivities to stimuli and mental confusion. This can cause your loved one to think they’ve already bathed, or not understand why it’s necessary.

Fear and discomfort. As dementias progress, your loved one can become fearful of things that seem mundane and everyday to you. They may be afraid of the water raining down on their head, or be afraid of the shower drain because they may get sucked down it. Bathing can also be painful or uncomfortable, either due to aches and pains or because of the water, itchy towels or anything else.

Loss of privacy and control. Losing independence and abilities is incredibly hard for individuals with dementia, especially in the earlier stages. Your loved one may be acting out to regain control, even if it’s only about this one small thing.

Nat urges caregivers to remember to not take these behaviors personally when their loved one is acting out. “These behaviors are symptoms of the disease and not a reflection of your loved one as a person. By remaining calm and relaxed and finding ways to make the situation more manageable, you’ll be able to make bath time as enjoyable as possible for you and your loved one with dementia.”

Tips for Helping Make Bath Time Easier

Prepare everything in advance. It’s easier to get your loved one into the tub if he or she doesn’t have to wait around for you to gather towels and soap and fill up the tub. Before you call your loved one in, draw a bath and make the room as comfortable as possible. Be sure to have plenty of towels and make sure the water temperature is at a safe level.

Help your loved one feel in control. During the bath, let your loved one do as much as possible. If he or she is in the later stages of dementia, make sure that they have some sort of role, like holding the soap or a washcloth. Give your loved one choices whenever possible (“do you want the almond milk shampoo or the vanilla scented one?”).

Establish a regular routine. Include bathing in your loved one’s regular routine (or, if he or she doesn’t need a bath every day, make sure there’s a scheduled bath time that doesn’t change). By working bathing into the flow of a normal day, it will seem less abrupt and more predictable, which can help your loved one stay calm and less anxious.

Make the bathroom comfortable and welcoming. Seniors get cold very easily, so make sure to bring in a space heater to ensure the bathroom is nice and warm for them. Be sure to pad any cold, hard surfaces (like the toilet seat or a chair) with a towel, and use non-slip rugs (consider putting a rubber mat in the bathtub, too). You can even play soft and gentle music to put your loved one in a calm and relaxed mood.

Don’t argue or explain. It’s tempting to try and reason with your loved one about why they need to bathe, or how long it’s been since they took a shower. Instead of arguing, escort your loved one into the bathroom, use short sentences and remain calm.

Focus on the positive. By focusing on the fun things that will happen after the bath (a nice snack or fun activity), you can start to associate bath time with positive things. Having a conversation will also help avoid arguing about taking a bath and mitigate frustration and anxiety.

Treat bath time like an activity. Whenever possible, say “we” instead of “you” during the bathing experience. By acting as if this is a fun and enjoyable activity you’re doing together, your loved one can relax and be less afraid, knowing that they aren’t alone during the process.

Use a hand-held shower head so your loved one can see what’s happening. A regular shower spray can be frightening to someone with dementia because they can’t see what’s happening, and might think that someone is attacking them. A hand-held shower head can help you explain and control the process so your loved one feels secure and safe. It also allows you to bathe parts one at a time, which may be less overwhelming.

Explain, explain, explain. We don’t often think about all the steps that take place when we bathe, but when you break them down – getting undressed, getting in the tub, turning on water, washing, etc. – you can see how it can be overwhelming for someone with cognitive issues. Individuals with dementia can be fearful if they don’t know what’s happening or why something is happening, so at each step of the bathing process, let your loved one know what’s happening, what will happen and coach them so they can do as much as possible by themselves.

Use lots of towels. Towels are very useful tools for bathing someone with dementia. You can use a towel to cover up parts of their body that aren’t being washed, making them more comfortable and giving them some privacy. Immediately after the bath, wrap your loved one in two big towels to keep them as dry and warm as possible.

Peace of Mind for Cape Cod Seniors and Their Families

Bridges® by EPOCH at Mashpee provides assisted living memory care that is comfortable, positive, safe and engaging. Exclusively dedicated to caring for those with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia or memory impairment, we’ve created a wellness-focused lifestyle that promotes dignity and individual preferences. Our memory care professionals receive specialized and ongoing training designed to help residents maximize their independence in a secure, calm environment – making a truly positive impact on the lives of our residents each and every day.

Age in Place

While many memory care assisted living communities are unable to care for those whose memory loss has progressed, Bridges®by EPOCH at Mashpee can continue to provide a home and care no matter the stage. Our age in place philosophy helps residents avoid the stress often associated with moving to another community and offers peace of mind to their families. Perhaps the best benefit, your loved one remains in the care of those they’ve grown to know and trust.

Supportive, Engaging Services

At Bridges® by EPOCH at Mashpee, we offer a program of care and services that celebrates life and supports individual strengths. Our compassionate and engaging approach adapts to the unique challenges and individuality of each resident. No matter what stage of memory loss a resident may be experiencing, families can be sure their loved one will receive a full array of services and a high level of personalized attention.

Call us today at 508.477.0043 to learn more or about Bridges® by EPOCH at Mashpee or to schedule a personal tour. 

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