“But I’ll have a blue, blue Christmas…”
That classic song sums up what a lot of people feel during the holiday season. Simply put, the holidays aren’t so merry for many people. Between seasonal stress, expectations for a “picture-perfect” celebration, the pressure to find just the right gift and – oh, yeah – dealing with family, there can be a lot of “bah humbug” in the air. Now add caring for a senior loved one into the mix. Stressed out yet? If so, you’re not alone.
“Caregivers of individuals with dementia or another form of memory loss have a unique challenge in helping to make the holidays happy for their loved ones while balancing their own needs,” says Addi Riccie, Executive Director at Bridges® by EPOCH at Norwalk, located in Norwalk, CT. “There’s such an expectation to keep up with ‘tradition’ or ‘the way we’ve always done things’ from all sides – family members, for sure, but sometimes from the senior loved one themselves. These unrealistic expectations, even if they come from a good place, can cause severe issues for caregivers.”
That’s why, she says, it’s important for caregivers to be aware of the feelings of sadness that can come from this time of year and take steps to cope. Here are 10 steps caregivers can take to minimize stress, practice self-care and enjoy the fun and spirit of the holidays.
- Care for yourself first. This is one of the most common tips given to caregivers, and although it’s easy to roll your eyes and shrug it off, there’s a reason why we keep talking about it. It’s absolutely essential to care for your health (physical and mental), especially during the holidays. For example, if you know you experience seasonal depression or Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), take steps now to incorporate light therapy or medication to help you through tough times.
- Simplify your season. It’s easy to get overwhelmed with everything that has to be done, from decorating to holiday parties to gift shopping and everything else. But guess what? You don’t have to do everything. Yes, you may disappoint a few people, but you’ll have a happier, healthier holiday if you don’t stretch yourself thin. Simplification can be difficult – we never like to say “no” to those we love – but you’ll love the freedom it gives you.
- Be like a duck. Meaning “let it roll off your back.” You may get some negativity and pushback from loved ones as changes start happening to beloved holiday traditions. In order to keep yourself sane, practice the helpful art of “detaching.” This means recognizing the other person’s feelings, but not allowing yourself to be controlled or react to what they’re feeling. Easier said than done, we know! The main idea is to not react to negativity, which feeds upon itself. If you stop reacting, others tend to calm down.
- Play some carols. Music is a soothing tool for old and young alike. Pop a holiday CD in the stereo or stream a playlist with old favorites. For individuals with dementia, playing music from their childhood can help spark memories and encourage interaction. If you’re already sick of holiday tunes, choose a different type of music that everyone can enjoy.
- Use mood lighting. Soft lighting is soothing for seniors and can help them relax. Many holiday decorations are lower light and have almost a candle-like glow. If your loved one is feeling agitated or your stress level is rising, try dimming the lights, sitting with a favorite drink and enjoying some quiet time. Don’t forget the cookies!
- Meditate. Studies have shown that meditation has a beneficial effect on mood and well-being. You can practice it however you want, whether through a class or simply going outside and calming your mind. Breathing exercises can allow you to focus on your body and mind while washing away hyperactive thoughts.
- Ask for help. Caregivers can find it hard to ask for help. But the best gift your family members and friends can give you at this time of year is time. Ask your sibling to drive your senior loved one to doctors’ appointments, or have a neighbor come in to visit several times during the week so you can get out and run errands. You’ll probably find that many people will jump at the chance to help – they’ve only been waiting for you to ask.
- Reminisce about holidays gone by. Sharing memories of holidays past can be a cathartic and enjoyable experience. Pull out photo albums and go through them with your loved one with dementia. Talking about the “good old times” can help you remember the good times instead of dwelling on the bad times.
- Acknowledge your feelings. It’s okay to feel sad about your loved one’s memory loss and the things you’ve lost to the march of time. Allow yourself to feel your pain – it’s okay. Allowing those emotions to rise to the top instead of shutting them down will help you process, grieve and eventually move into your new normal.
- Let it go. Remember the serenity prayer: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Today (and this holiday) is what you make it. Do your best, take care of yourself and others and your holidays will be happy, peaceful and bright.
If you would like more information about reducing stress during the holiday season, contact us at 203.523.0510.
Compassionate Care for All Stages of Memory Loss
Bridges® by EPOCH at Norwalk provides assisted living memory care that is comfortable, positive, safe and engaging. Exclusively dedicated to caring for those with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia or memory impairment, we’ve created a wellness-focused lifestyle that promotes dignity and individual preferences. Our memory care professionals receive specialized and ongoing training designed to help residents maximize their independence in a secure, calm environment – making a truly positive impact on the lives of our residents each and every day.
Personalized Services
At Bridges® by EPOCH at Norwalk, our services are designed to recognize and adapt to the unique challenges and individuality of each resident, while ensuring comfort and safety. We believe in a full-service approach to care and provide a high level of personalized attention for every resident through all stages of memory loss.
Community Amenities
Within a beautiful residential design, Bridges® by EPOCH at Norwalk provides everything residents with Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias need to enjoy comfort, familiarity and security. Soft colors, directional cues, aromatherapy and interactive life stations create a peaceful and secure environment where residents feel at home.
Call us today at 203.523.0510 to learn more about Bridges® by EPOCH at Norwalk or to schedule a personal tour.