Welcome to Alicia’s monthly advice column where she’ll provide tips on caring for a loved one with dementia. Alicia Seaver is the Director of Memory Care at Bridges® by EPOCH and is a certified memory impairment specialist. This month’s topic is engaging your loved one at home.
Engaging a loved one with dementia through meaningful and stimulating hobbies and therapeutic programs can have a huge effect on your loved one’s mood and overall wellbeing, but knowing what to engage them with can be tricky. Here are my tips for at-home programs that can be adapted to fit your own loved one’s personal interests.
Almost any cherished activity can be adapted – in some form – to a memory care context
For instance, perhaps your loved one once enjoyed riding horses. Since they can no longer ride a horse, your mission is to bring that passion to them in a different form. This is called “adapting” an activity. Some ideas that come to mind are watching videos or movies about horses. Keep a photographic atlas of horses on hand to leaf through, and depending on their cognitive level, a paint-by-number or coloring book about horses could bring great satisfaction.
Stuffed animal horses, toy horses, even grooming tools and brushes, can be kept on hand for a sense of familiarity and purpose. The internet is a fantastic source of specialty items on virtually any theme. Googling “horse toys” or “horse educational,” for instance, may yield just the right thing that you didn’t know existed.
For someone who loved to cook, try to engage them in whatever way you can in the cooking
process. Activities as simple as drying dishes or folding towels generate a sense of contribution and involvement. If your loved one has good manual dexterity, they might be able to open wrappers, pull orange segments apart, or mix ingredients in a bowl. Before you start, think about each of the steps in your process and where this person might fit in.
Maximize responsibility while minimizing frustration and avoiding risk
Strive to encourage pursuits that maximize your loved one’s abilities. At the same time, however – it’s a balancing act – you also don’t want the person to feel frustration as they attempt an activity they just can’t do.
You may find that someone who was very proficient at, for instance, painting, may feel so upset by the decline in their abilities that they don’t have an interest in any painting or drawing at all. Others will continue to enjoy their passions no matter what. Offer encouragement, direct assistance, and support. Sometimes you may need to accept that a once joyful pursuit has become a reminder of loss for your loved one and it’s time to engage other interests.
Flexibility, adaptability and resourcefulness
Have several options available so the individual can switch gears to match changes in energy and attention. Take your cues from them. If they’re in a good mood, find ways to support that. If they’re struggling, find a way to re-direct.
It doesn’t have to be fancy
Including the memory care individual in household activities can be a win-win. If the task is truly needed, great. Sweeping the floor or sorting the mail come to mind. If there is no truly useful task, devise something to keep their hands engaged. If you’re reading the newspaper, ask them to fold or color the sections you have read, for example.
Gardening, singing, listening to and playing music, cleaning, arts and crafts, organizing, cooking, word games, puzzles, and movies are all sources of engagement in the home.
Think outside the box
Try it. If it doesn’t work, try something else. What worked last week, or last month, may no longer work as the person changes.
People with memory loss, just like the rest of us, like to feel connected and productive. Encourage activities that make them feel like they are accomplishing something. For instance, instead of just baking cookies, bake something to take to a local food pantry and include your loved one in the process.
By engaging their hands and stimulating their minds, your loved one is likely to feel a sense of satisfaction and achievement.
If there is a topic you would like Alicia to discuss, please send suggestions to [email protected].