Visiting a loved one with Alzheimer’s can be challenging. Family members always wish for visits to be comforting and meaningful, but as dementia progresses, finding mutually enjoyable ways to spend visits can become increasingly difficult. Following are ideas on how to make the most of your visit for both you and your loved one.
Prepare for meaningful time. Bring activities that can be easily shared and that are of interest to your loved one and at the level of their ability. It might be looking through a current newspaper and reading articles out loud or paging through a book with colorful photos and talking about the photos. If they are able to go outside, an easy walk along a path or sitting on a bench and enjoying the view and fresh air are wonderful activities.
Reminiscence is a key ingredient for success. Do things to initiate fond memories such as humming a favorite song, talking about a pet, offering a familiar photo or object for a story. Smells, taste and touch are also strong memory triggers.
Be calm and patient. People with dementia often have trouble communicating, particularly if the disease is in a more advanced stage. Be calm, patient and don’t interrupt as they speak or gesture. If the person is having difficulty expressing his/her self, offer praise for success in accomplishment (e.g., completing a thought, reciprocating in an activity).
Stay connected. Show interest and respect by maintaining eye contact and relaxed body language. Be sure that they can see you clearly when you talk and listen.
Speak slowly and simply. Use short, simple, familiar words and sentences.
Use “bridging” technique. This is a sensory connection that increases focus/attention and decreases anxiety. This could be a touch, a light guide on the elbow to steer, humming or stroking the skin with an object that has a unique surface such as satin. Be sure to ask permission before touching; tell the person what you are doing as you do it.
We all want to stay connected to a loved one with dementia and it’s easy to assume that your visits aren’t remembered. While the details of a visit might not stay in your loved one’s mind, the positive feelings and emotions will last with everyone involved.