Isolation
As they become more enmeshed in the care of their loved one, it’s normal for caregivers to feel isolated, lonely and cut off from the outside world. This is especially true when caring for someone with a progressive disease like dementia, where your loved one requires more and more care as time goes on. The lengthy and steadily increasing pace of caregiving can wear down even the most resilient of folks, leaving them tired, stretched thin and unable to find time to socially connect with others.
The biggest hurdle a caregiver has to overcome when faced with isolation is getting over the fear of asking for help. “Caregiving is an all-encompassing job, and there’s no way you can do it all on your own all the time,” Barbara says. “It’s essential for caregivers to understand that reaching out and asking for help from friends, family and the community isn’t a sign of weakness. In fact, it’s the kindest thing you can do for yourself and your loved one.”
Asking for help will allow you to take chores and tasks off your plate, giving you time to focus on your own personal needs – including being more socially active. Staying connected to the people you care about has shown to improve moods, decrease stress levels, increase your immune system and provide better well-being overall. Schedule time to have coffee with a friend. Ask a neighbor to watch your loved one for a few hours so you can take a walk with your sister.
Loss of self.
The majority of caregivers in the United States are family members and loved ones of the person needing assistance. Many of these caregivers report that they end up losing their sense of self and who they are as the time goes on.
One of the self-losses comes from the changing relationship with your loved one. If you’re a wife whose caregiving for her husband, you may find yourself becoming more and more of a caretaker and less and less as a romantic partner. A daughter may feel that she’s losing the parental connection she had with Mom or Dad. This shift can be uncomfortable for both caregiver and the senior, and causes friction, stress and even depression.
The other self-loss that occurs is through the loss of your previous life. You may have to take a leave of absence or quit a job that you love. You no longer have time to go out for lunch with friends, or sleep in on the weekends or even go to your favorite yoga class. Instead, you find yourself completely dedicated to caring for another person with no time left for yourself.
Again, the answer to this challenge is being brave enough to ask for help. Having others shoulder some of the burden of caregiving for your loved one can allow you to better manage your time and take control of your life again. This can allow you to do the things you enjoy, focus more at work or simply allow you to read a book for a half-hour in the evening. By doing things that bring you joy, you’ll be better able to “find yourself” again, which will in turn make you feel so much better about your situation.
Stress.
Underlying every aspect of a caregiver’s life is stress. Stress from worrying about their loved one’s health. Stress from trying to juggle so many tasks and chores. Stress from financial difficulties and stress from the judgement (or perceived judgement) from others.
Stress is more than just frustrating; it also can cause severe health issues if left unchecked. High blood pressure, difficulty sleeping, obesity, depression and even cognitive issues are prevalent among caregivers who don’t take the time to alleviate the stress in their lives. Too much stress can also lead to caregiver burnout, which can severely hinder your health and the health of your loved one.
While asking for help should allow you to be a little less stressed, the solution for this obstacle actually lies within yourself. Practicing meditation and mindfulness are practically instant ways to reduce your stress levels and recenter yourself so that you can move forward in a healthy way. Breathing exercises are one technique that many people use. Others use five minute breaks to meditate or think about things they’re grateful for. By allowing yourself to stop, both physically and mentally, you instantly decrease the levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) your body is producing.
If stress is becoming an overwhelming part of your daily life, be sure to take little breaks throughout the day. Even five to ten minutes every few hours can help you refocus yourself and take steps to calm your body and mind. Other techniques for dealing with stress include getting regular exercise, getting a good night’s sleep and eating a healthy diet. If you find that stress is becoming too great, consider speaking to your doctor about prescription medicines that can help.
While there are many other difficulties when it comes to being a caregiver, Barbara says that addressing these three things will greatly improve your life – even starting today. “We all know that the first step in providing the best care for our loved one starts with caring for ourselves,” she says. “By recognizing your biggest obstacles and taking steps to help ease your burden, you’ll go a long way in maintaining a high quality of life for yourself and the person you care for.”
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