Caregiving is more than a job – it’s a lifestyle. While it can be rewarding, it is also physically, emotionally and mentally exhausting. Whether you’re a caregiver to a loved one, or you know someone who is acting as a family caregiver, you know firsthand how all-encompassing and draining it can be at times. That’s why it’s so important for caregivers to remember to slow down, take time for themselves and find ways to recharge their batteries.
“Caregiving can lead to a variety of pressures in a person’s life, including family conflict, financial strain and social withdrawal,” says Addie Ricci, Executive Director at Bridges® by EPOCH at Norwalk, located in Norwalk, CT. “Over time, all these pressures can lead to caregiver burnout, which is a real and serious condition that causes physical, emotional and mental health issues.”
Our bodies are not designed to handle chronic stress, explains Addie. “When we’re stressed, our bodies release the stress hormone cortisol, which is what spurs the ‘fight-or-flight’ mentality,” she says. “Over time, if that cortisol remains heightened, it can weaken our immune system, cause sleeping issues, increase weight gain and spur crippling depression.”
But just as our bodies have a natural reaction to stress, we also have a natural way to combat stress. “There’s something called the relaxation response that is triggered by your nervous system when you practice techniques like meditation, yoga and tai chi,” she says. “This has been proven to help reduce stress levels, lower blood pressure and increase overall well-being.”
Whether you’re a caregiver yourself or you are close to someone who is a caregiver, here are some ways you can help provide opportunities for self-care.
Be compassionate.
For caregivers, it’s essential to be kind to yourself. It’s easy to get caught up in negative self-talk and focus on all the bad things happening in your life. Instead of spiraling downward with the little voice that says you’re not doing enough, being enough or good enough, flip the script and actively think of the things that you are accomplishing – and give yourself credit for it. One great way to accomplish this is by journaling. Every day, write down something you’re thankful for and something you’re proud of accomplishing. No matter how big or small it may feel to you, these actions can help recalibrate your brain and your thoughts to focus less on the negative (which you can’t control) and more on the positive.
People who have caregivers in their life can help practice compassion and kindness by writing a note letting them know how much you appreciate what they do and how well they do it. It’s definitely one thing to tell it to yourself, but everyone can get a boost from hearing that someone else notices their efforts and appreciates them. Don’t forget the power of the spoken word, either.
Take care of physical health.
Caring for others can leave little time to care for oneself. However, caregivers must take a page out of the airplane safety manual and remember to “put on their own oxygen masks before helping others.” Getting adequate sleep, eating nutritious meals and getting enough exercise will help caregivers stay as healthy as possible and avoid caregiver burnout.
A great way to help caregivers maintain their physical health is to make it easy for them. For example, you could offer to pay for a meal delivery or kit service or offer to deliver groceries, which makes it easy for them to have healthy food on hand without spending the time to shop. You can also offer to watch their loved one on a regular basis so the caregiver can go grocery shopping, or go to the gym or simply take a nap.
Ask for help.
Caregivers are super people, but they’re not superheroes. It’s physically impossible for them to do everything, which is why asking for help is critical to their success and to the well-being of their loved ones and themselves. It can be hard to ask for help, but caregivers should realize that there are many people in their lives who are just waiting to lend a hand but don’t know where to start. Put together a list of specific tasks and ask people for their assistance with them (it’s also good to have on hand so that when people ask, ‘how can I help?’, you have something concrete to ask them).
For friends and loved ones of caregivers, offer your support – and be specific. For example, ask if you can pick up some groceries for them while you yourself are running to the store. You can also offer to help research resources, like senior centers or adult day cares, that can provide respite support when needed. Be creative, be specific and be there.
Stay connected.
Social isolation is a real problem for caregivers. With so much going on in their lives, it can be difficult to keep up with friends and family. They may also feel depressed and like no one else can understand what they’re going through, which makes them even more withdrawn. Finally, friends and family may not know what to do or say and inadvertently draw away.
If you’re a caregiver, make time in your schedule to connect with the people you care about – even if it’s a brief phone call once a day. It can be difficult, but try your best to get out of the house and schedule time with friends. If you’re a friend of a caregiver, be proactive and don’t wait for them to reach out to you. Let them know you’re thinking of them with a text, an email or a phone call. Invite them to do things with you. Offer to stop by with coffee and have a chat. Just knowing you are there and you care can do a world of good for your caregiving friend or family member.
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