Alicia Seaver is the Vice President of Memory Care Operations for EPOCH Senior Living and a Certified Memory Impairment Specialist. Every month, she addresses a specific issue related to memory and memory care. If you’re interested in hearing about a particular topic, please send a note to [email protected].
Q: My mother has dementia, and I want to make sure I can help her feel included in our celebrations. What are some ways I can create dementia-friendly holiday traditions that we all can enjoy?
A: Traditions are an incredibly important and much-loved part of our holiday celebrations. However, for our loved ones with dementia, some of these traditions may be difficult or overwhelming, if not downright dangerous. Changes to their routine, loud gatherings with unfamiliar people, confusing decorations … it’s not difficult to see why the holiday season may be more anxious and uncomfortable for them rather than merry and bright.
But with just a little effort, the holidays still can be a wonderful time for you and your loved one. It’s a great opportunity to gather with friends and family, which can be a priceless gift to someone with dementia. And for your family, it’s one more chance to make memories and share meaningful moments with your loved one.
The keys to a happy holiday with someone who has dementia are flexibility, planning and adjusted expectations. You may find it easier than you expect to switch up your schedule and traditions in order to accommodate your new normal. Here are some tips for creating new traditions (and adjusting old ones) to make this holiday season a very merry one indeed.
Keep the spirit of your favorite traditions. As your loved one progresses through the dementia journey, you may discover that some of your most beloved traditions don’t work anymore. For example, you may not be able to take Grandma to the Holiday Pops symphony concert or Nutcracker ballet because she becomes overwhelmed by crowds. Or the traditional family meal takes place right at the time that Grandpa’s sundowning is at its worst.
Instead of eschewing those traditions altogether, find ways to adapt them so they work for everyone involved. Instead of heading out to attend a concert, stream a live concert on your television and invite family members to attend. If a big dinnertime meal doesn’t work with your schedule, adjust it to be a smaller lunchtime gathering.
Create new traditions. As time marches on, our family changes. It changes structure as we say goodbye to loved ones and hello to new friends and family members. The same principle applies to traditions – some may fade away, while new ones rise to take their place. Creating new traditions that are dementia-friendly are a perfect way to involve your loved one and truly make them feel part of the holiday celebration. Here are some ideas of activities you and your loved ones can add into your celebration this year:
- Making garlands together, which are then added to the tree
- Decorating wreaths or making holiday centerpieces
- Going around the table and sharing a favorite holiday memory
- Having a sing-a-long to favorite carols
- Holding a movie night with classic holiday films
- Reading holiday or religious stories
Ask your loved one for input. The best way to find traditions that will help your loved one feel included? Just ask. Your loved one may not remember the most recent holidays you shared, but because long-term memory lingers longer in those with dementia, they may be able to share their favorite memories and traditions from their youth. You can use those stories to create a fun activity that you can enjoy together.
Most of all, remember what the holidays are really about: spending time with those we love and care about. You may not have the picture-perfect Normal Rockwell holiday, but as long as you’re laughing and sharing moments with family and friends, you’re creating moments of joy this holiday season for you – and your loved one.
Enhancing Quality of Life
Bridges® by EPOCH communities have been developed from the ground up to anticipate, meet and exceed the needs of our residents and their families. Our team of remarkable people, the exceptional care and services we offer and the purposeful design of our buildings all combine to create the most rewarding, secure and nurturing lifestyle possible for our residents.
We understand the concern families feel about ensuring quality of life for loved ones. That’s why, at Bridges® by EPOCH, we offer a wellness-centered lifestyle that focuses on reinforcing individual strength so residents enjoy heightened confidence and self-esteem. Ultimately, we provide everything residents need to thrive and rediscover a life with purpose.
Inspiration for Success
At our Bridges® by EPOCH communities, we work closely with families to gain necessary insight and deeper understanding into the lives of our residents upon admission. With this initial information, along with what our exceptional team members learn about our residents each and every day, we are best prepared to provide highly individualized programming for our residents.