fbpx

Advice by Alicia: Caring for a Spouse with Dementia

Thursday, January 31, 2019

Alicia Seaver is the Vice President of Memory Care Operations for EPOCH Senior Living and a Certified Memory Impairment Specialist. Every month, she addresses a specific issue related to memory and memory care. If you’re interested in hearing about a particular topic, please send a suggestion to [email protected].

Q: What advice do you have for spousal caregivers of a loved one with dementia?

A: Finding out that your spouse has dementia is one of the biggest trials a couple will face. While caregiving may be easy at the beginning stages of the disease, eventually both spouses will have to deal with the gradual decline of memory, abilities and mental faculties. The individual may have behavioral changes or not recognize their spouse. By nature, dementia causes the relationship to change and evolve, and this can be difficult for both the caregiver and the person being cared for.

At Bridges® by EPOCH, we often say that dementia does not change who someone is as a person. For spousal caregivers, it’s important to understand that this is still the person you fell in love with and married, and there are still opportunities to do activities together and create meaningful moments and memories. Dementia doesn’t mean that your quality of life will go away – in fact, with support and the appropriate care, you and your spouse will be able to live a fulfilling life for many years to come.

Since we’re approaching Valentine’s Day, here are some heartfelt tips on how spousal caregivers can nurture their relationship while providing the best possible care for themselves and their loved one.

1. Accept your loved one for who they are – now and in the future.

It’s very stressful when your spouse is diagnosed with a progressive disease and you watch him or her act in unexpected ways. It’s normal to react with anger, sadness, guilt and a variety of other emotions. However, by accepting that your loved one’s actions and behaviors are due to the disease, not themselves, you can gain a greater sense of calm and lower your stress in situations. By accepting the disease and finding ways to work with the issues, you’ll be able to nurture your relationship where it is now without dwelling on the past.

2. Include your loved one in decisions.

Spouses are, first and foremost, partners in life. So involve your life partner as much as you can with decisions that affect them. This could be anything from deciding what to eat on Valentine’s Day, whether or not you want to buy each other gifts or anything else. While your spouse may not be able to handle complex tasks, offering choices and allowing him or her to take the lead on decisions they can control will allow both of you to feel like you’re solidly contributing to your relationship.

3. Have a routine. 

A routine provides stability and a sense of calm and control to your daily life. As you set up a routine for your spouse, be sure that you include physical activities and social events, as well as opportunities for the two of you to spend time together as a couple. Encourage your spouse to maintain his or her independence, and find ways for him or her to be involved in creating their routine.

4. Set up a support system. 

Having the love and support from other people in your life is essential to providing the best possible care for your loved one. You can’t do it all – and you shouldn’t have to. Give those who care about you the chance to show their love by assisting you. You can also look for support groups in your area that will connect you with other spousal caregivers. Knowing you’re not alone can be a wonderful feeling.

5. Love and look after yourself. 

On Valentine’s Day, it’s important to celebrate those we love, and you should include yourself in that equation. It’s hard to care for your spouse when you’re not feeling good about yourself. Whenever possible (at least once a day) find ways to care for yourself, whether that’s 10 minutes of yoga, walking around the block or simply taking a moment to sit, clear your mind and take a deep breath.

Enhancing Quality of Life

Bridges® by EPOCH communities have been developed from the ground up to anticipate, meet and exceed the needs of our residents and their families. Our team of remarkable people, the exceptional care and services we offer and the purposeful design of our buildings all combine to create the most rewarding, secure and nurturing lifestyle possible for our residents.

We understand the concern families feel about ensuring quality of life for loved ones. That’s why, at Bridges® by EPOCH, we offer a wellness-centered lifestyle that focuses on reinforcing individual strength so residents enjoy heightened confidence and self-esteem. Ultimately, we provide everything residents need to thrive and rediscover a life with purpose.

Inspiration for Success

At our Bridges® by EPOCH communities, we work closely with families to gain necessary insight and deeper understanding into the lives of our residents upon admission. With this initial information, along with what our exceptional team members learn about our residents each and every day, we are best prepared to provide highly individualized programming for our residents.

Learn More About Bridges®

This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Loading...