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Communication Tips That Will Ease Your Caregiver Journey

Being able to communicate with others – whether through a look, a touch or with words – is part of what makes us human. It’s something we do every day without even thinking about it, since it’s so integral to who we are. That’s why dementia can be such a difficult disease to cope with, since it affects the brain to the point that “regular” forms of communication don’t work. This can be frustrating for both caregivers and individuals with dementia.

“The desire for connection and meaningful communication doesn’t go away, even as dementia progresses,” says Erica Labb, Executive Director of Bridges®  by EPOCH at Westford. “In fact, communication becomes more important than ever as family members and loved ones strive to connect despite the limitations of the disease. However, caregivers need to understand how dementia affects the brain and communication in order to work past the barriers, reduce confusion and frustration and find ways to deepen and nurture the relationships of the people they care for.”

How Dementia Affects Communication

Dementias such as Alzheimer’s disease attack various parts of the brain, disrupting speech patterns, neurocognitive transmitters, and how information is both transmitted and received. While dementia affects each person differently, there are certain issues that are fairly typical for everyone living with the disease. One of these issues is repetition, when an individual continually repeats stories or certain words or questions. Another is an inability to find the right words, and substituting similar words to get the point across. Other issues include losing track of conversations and thoughts, inventing new words, reverting to a native language, increasingly disorganized speech and going off on tangents.

“Individuals with dementia become frustrated and agitated because they’re still experiencing emotions, feelings and thoughts, even when they aren’t able to properly express themselves,” says Erica. “When they aren’t being understood, or if they feel they’re being ignored or talked down to, this causes agitation, irritation, helplessness and depression. It’s essential for family members and caregivers to learn new ways of communicating with their loved one in order to help them feel heard and supported.”

Communication Do’s and Don’ts for Caregivers

DO … remain calm and patient with your loved one. 

Remember that your loved one is still the same person they always have been and can’t help what’s happening to them. Their communication issues are a symptom of the disease, much like high blood sugar is a symptom of diabetes. Instead of getting frustrated when you’re having difficulty understanding them, take a deep breath, remain patient and do your best to help your loved one feel safe, comforted and secure.

DO … speak in short, clear and simple phrases. 

Multiple questions in a row, long sentences or confusing topics can make it harder for your loved one to respond and communicate. Slow down your speaking and speak clearly. If you’re giving directions, give one step at a time, or ask one question at a time. Give your loved one as much time as possible to respond, and try not to prompt (this can make your loved one feel like you’re rushing them, which will cause them to become even more stressed).

DO … find ways to rephrase a question or direction if it’s not understood. 

It may take several times for your loved one to understand what you’re asking or saying. If he or she appears confused, think about what may be confusing them and try and provide clarity. Try simpler sentences or use fewer words.

DO … use distraction or therapeutic fibbing if the truth could hurt your loved one. 

Many times, people with dementia may see things that aren’t there or ask about someone who is no longer alive. If your mom keeps asking, “Where’s my husband?” it may not be kind to remind her that he’s been dead for twenty years. Instead, say “he’s not here right now” or say that he’ll be back later. This will help calm your loved one without causing undue grief.

DO … use different techniques to attract your loved one’s attention. 

Nonverbal communication is an excellent way to catch and hold your loved one’s attention, as well as make them feel safe and loved. Look them in the eye when speaking to them, make eye contact, gesture and point and use body language as much as possible.

DO … identify yourself and others. 

When you’re telling a story or introducing someone who’s come to visit, use proper names and mention their relationship to your loved one.

DON’T … ask your loved one if they “remember” something. 

It feels natural to ask if your loved one remembers what they did last night, but the truth of the matter is that they don’t remember. Reminding them of the shortcomings of memory will only humiliate and hurt your loved one.

DON’T … talk over your loved one or patronize them. 

Be sure to always include your loved one in conversations when they’re present, and speak to them with respect. Even if they are having difficulty communicating, they are still adults who deserve to be treated as such.

DON’T … be sarcastic or ironic. 

It can be very tiring to answer the same questions over and over, and it’s easy to revert to sarcasm or irony when you’re exhausted of the same old, same old. However, even if your loved one doesn’t always understand what they’re saying, they can understand your tone of voice, and will be hurt or confused.

In Short: Practice the Golden Rule​

What all these communication tips have in common, says Erica, is the Golden Rule of “treat others as you’d like to be treated.”

“Patience, empathy and understanding will be your best tools in helping break through communication difficulties and nurture your relationship with your loved one,” she says. “Put yourself in your loved one’s shoes and think about how scary, confusing and difficult the world can seem. How would you like to be treated in this situation? Sometimes, just taking a look through your loved one’s eyes can help give us a new approach to communicating with them. By understanding their situation and adapting your communication styles in an appropriate manner, you’ll be able to ease your caregiving burden and help your loved one have the highest quality of life possible.”

Comprehensive Services

At Bridges® by EPOCH at Westford, we know no two residents are alike. That’s why we’ve designed our services to address the distinct challenges each resident faces. With comfort, safety and happiness as our top priorities, residents receive unmatched personalized attention, no matter the stage of memory loss.

Community Amenities

Bridges® by EPOCH at Westford features a beautiful residential design. Every inch has been thoughtfully designed to enhance the lives of those with memory loss. Soft colors, directional cues, aromatherapy and interactive life stations are placed throughout the community to create a peaceful and secure environment so residents may enjoy great comfort, familiarity and security.

Contact us today to learn more. 

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