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Caregiving From a Distance: 5 Tips for Keeping Tabs on Your Aging Loved Ones

Thursday, March 12, 2020

These days, many seniors may live far away from their adult children and other loved ones. When it gets to the point that a senior needs more assistance than they themselves can provide, many people are finding themselves serving as long-distance caregivers. The National Alliance for Caregiving (NAC) estimates that 13% of Americans provide long-distance care for a loved one, and a quarter of these caregivers are the primary person providing assistance.

“Long-distance caregiving is a simple reality of the times in which we live – a time when careers, families and other factors cause us to live more than an hour away from our aging loved ones,” says Barbara Harrison, Executive Director of Bridges® by EPOCH at Westwood, a memory care assisted living community in Westwood, MA. “This type of caregiving presents many unique challenges and adds even more stress to a complicated, emotionally fraught situation. Long-distance caregivers often feel helpless and guilty about their situation, but there are many things they can do to help care for, assist and improve the lives of their aging loved ones.”

The most important tool in a long-distance caregiver’s arsenal is communication, says Barbara. “This role requires regular communication, careful planning and a strong support network of friends, relatives and medical professionals who can help address important questions and issues. Having this framework of support in place, as well as regular meetings via conference call or in person, will help everyone involved in the caregiving process know their roles, understand the needs of the senior individual and find ways to make sure their loved one receives the best care and has the highest quality of life possible – no matter how near or far they are.”

If you or someone you know are in a caregiving role for a far-off senior loved one, here are some tips to help get (and stay) organized, find the resources you need and provide the very best possible care for their senior loved one.

1. Learn as much as you can about the situation.
Knowledge is power, and that goes double for when you’re far away from your senior loved one. The best way to gain a foundation from which you can build beneficial care is to learn as much as you can about your loved one’s illness, medications, treatments and resources that are available. Having this information will help you understand what’s happening, anticipate issues, prevent crises and allow you to take a proactive role in managing your loved one’s care plan.

2. Plan out your in-person visits. 

Obviously, visiting your loved one in person is incredibly important. However, as a long-distance caregiver, you may quickly become overwhelmed with everything you have to do in the short time you have available during visits. Before you arrive in town, plan out your trip in order to maximize your time. If there is a primary caregiver in-town, check in with them to learn what you can do to help or make things easier. Having clear-cut, realistic goals for the visit will make your time together much more productive. For example, does your father need some new clothes, and if so, can you take him clothes shopping while you’re in town? Could you take Mom to all her doctor’s visits and meet with the professionals to discuss her care and treatment? Decide on your priorities beforehand, and your visit will be a lot more enjoyable (and beneficial).

3. Find responsibilities you can manage from afar. 

While day-to-day caregiving isn’t possible as a long-distance caregiver, there are many other aspects related to your loved one’s care and well-being that you can manage – and that would take the weight off the shoulders of whomever is providing daily care for your loved one. For example, you could offer to manage the financial aspect of care and organize bills, insurance, assistance and other tasks related to paying for care. You could also look into resources available in the area, such as meal delivery services, adult day care services or home care service workers. Organizing legal documents and handling aspects related to that can be very helpful as well.

4. Don’t forget to be family first. 

It’s easy to let caregiving take over every interaction you have with your family and your senior loved one. However, don’t forget that you have another role, like “child” or “friend.” Try to find ways to do things that are unrelated to being a caregiver, especially when you’re visiting your senior loved one. Watch a movie together, or take them to do something they enjoy (like church or another activity). Take a walk, go on a drive, play a board game or invite some friends over to catch up. Doing something relaxing and enjoyable will help build happy memories and nurture your relationships with those you love.

5. Get in touch and stay in touch.

Remember how we said that “communication” is the best tool you have? Use it, and use it often. You’ll want to stay in touch with everyone from your loved one’s doctors, staff members (if there are hired caregivers or if your loved one lives in a senior living community) and, of course, other family members and friends who are involved in their care. Be sure that everyone stays in touch and is up-to-date on everything. Online calendars, group texts, personal care websites like CaringBridge and teleconferences can all be very helpful for everyone to be “in the know.”

Don’t forget the most important person, though … your senior loved one. The idea of a “circle of caring” is very important, and it’s necessary for everyone to remember that the focus is on your loved one on and their well-being. Plus, it will help your loved one feel connected to everyone who loves them.

Being a caregiver from afar can feel difficult, but with organization and planning, you can help your loved one live a safe, comfortable and fulfilled life no matter how far away you may be.

Exceptional Care & Fulfilling Lifestyle

Bridges® by EPOCH at Westwood provides memory care assisted living that is comfortable, positive, safe and engaging. Exclusively dedicated to caring for those with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia, our community offers a wellness-focused lifestyle that promotes dignity and individual preferences. Our memory care professionals receive specialized and ongoing training designed to help residents maximize their independence in a secure, calm environment – enriching the lives of our residents every day.

Inspiring Programs for All Stages

No matter what level of care or service is needed, residents and families can rest assured that our care and life enrichment programs address the various stages of memory decline, allowing residents the opportunity to age in place.

Dedicated Memory Care

At Bridges® by EPOCH at Westwood, our services are designed to recognize and adapt to the unique challenges and individuality of each resident, while ensuring comfort and safety. We believe in a full-service approach to care and provide a high level of personalized attention for residents in various stages of memory loss.

Contact us today to learn more.

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