A diagnosis of dementia is life-changing and difficult. If you’ve recently been diagnosed with a cognitive disease, you may be feeling a wide variety of emotions. Guilt, anger, denial and even relief are common emotions that you may be feeling at this time. You may also be suddenly worried about how you should begin sharing your diagnosis with other family members, as well as concerns for the future.
“Being diagnosed with dementia brings a lot of questions into play,” says Barbara Harrison, Executive Director of Bridges® by EPOCH at Westwood, a memory care assisted living community in Westwood, MA. “You may start asking questions like: What does this mean for my future? What happens when I can no longer care for myself? How much longer do I have? And perhaps most importantly, how do I share my diagnosis with others?”
Many people are hesitant to share their diagnosis with family and friends because the reality of the situation is quite scary. However, says Barbara, being open and sharing this news with the important people in your life is an important first step in planning for your future. “The sooner you share the news, the sooner you’ll receive the support, planning and caring that’s needed for you to maintain a high quality of life now and in the future,” Barbara explains.
There are many treatments currently that can assist with slowing the progression of dementia and memory loss, but it’s essential they’re started as soon as possible, Barbara says. “That’s part of the reason why letting your loved ones know about your diagnosis sooner rather than later can be beneficial,” says Barbara. “This will bring them into the reality of the situation and allow them the space and time to accept what’s happening while also educating themselves so they can be the best champion possible for you.”
Once you decide when and where to share your diagnosis, remember that memory loss and cognitive diseases, such as Alzheimer’s disease, no longer carry the heavy stigma they did in the past. Talking about your condition will help normalize the situation, help people feel less afraid about the diagnosis and make this journey that much easier for you and your loved ones.
Deciding Whom To Tell
Ultimately, it’s your choice of whom you wish to tell first about your diagnosis. You don’t have to share the news with everyone, unless that’s what you want. Some individuals choose to share the news with just their close friends and family, while others prefer to share the information with everyone in their lives. There’s no right or wrong way; only the way that works best for you. Here are some questions to ask yourself as you decide whom to share your diagnosis with:
- Who do I want at my side throughout this journey?
- Who do I feel will support me the most?
- Whom do I feel closest to?
- Who needs to know this information as soon as possible, such as my spouse, children or close friends?
How To Share the News
How you share your diagnosis will depend a lot on who you’ve decided to share the news with. Some individuals may wish to share the news in an in-person setting, one-on-one or in a family meeting. Others may prefer to tell a few individuals and have them disseminate the news on your behalf. It’s your choice.
Before having the discussion with others, take some time and think about what you’d like to say. Some people choose to write down talking points to help keep their thoughts organized. What sort of information is important to share at this juncture? What do you want them to know about current or future plans? Consider asking yourself these questions and using the answers to tailor your discussion to the people in your life:
- What do I want from this individual upon sharing this information? How would I like them to treat me?
- What do I want them to know about now and the future?
- How do I expect this person to react, and how can I prepare for their reaction?
- What do they need from me right now, and how can I help?
Managing Reactions of Friends and Loved Ones
You probably felt myriad emotions once you received your memory loss diagnosis. Realize that your friends and loved ones will also have to work through a variety of different feelings and emotions upon learning the news. Your news may be met with anger, fear, guilt or even denial. All these emotions are common and normal, but it does mean that the people close to you may need time to process their emotions and thoughts about the situation. Give your loved ones the space and opportunity to process the news. They may need time to come to terms with this new reality.
Keeping the Conversation Going
The initial conversation with friends and family will not be the first conversation you have along this journey. It’s just the beginning – so be sure you and they understand that this is the beginning, not a definitive discussion. Throughout your memory loss journey, you and they will need to make adjustments to deal with the changes that will occur. Although some times will be more difficult than others, remember that open and honest communication is your best line of defense and support. For you, it’s important to let the people close to you know what you can still do and what you need help with. Staying connected to your loved ones will provide comfort, support and benefit you in many ways.
A diagnosis of memory loss is a life-changing and difficult time for many. However, having the support of friends, loved ones and family members will allow you to better face what lies ahead. Remember that this diagnosis doesn’t change who you are as a person. You still have opportunities to live your life, enjoy everything the world has to offer, create and nurture relationships and make memories that will last a lifetime.
Exceptional Care & Fulfilling Lifestyle
Bridges® by EPOCH at Westwood provides memory care assisted living that is comfortable, positive, safe and engaging. Exclusively dedicated to caring for those with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia, our community offers a wellness-focused lifestyle that promotes dignity and individual preferences. Our memory care professionals receive specialized and ongoing training designed to help residents maximize their independence in a secure, calm environment – enriching the lives of our residents every day.
Inspiring Programs for All Stages
No matter what level of care or service is needed, residents and families can rest assured that our care and life-enrichment programs address the various stages of memory decline, allowing residents the opportunity to age in place.
Dedicated Memory Care
At Bridges® by EPOCH at Westwood, our services are designed to recognize and adapt to the unique challenges and individuality of each resident while ensuring comfort and safety. We believe in a full-service approach to care and provide a high level of personalized attention for residents in various stages of memory loss.
Bridges® by EPOCH is New England’s largest stand-alone memory care assisted living provider.
Contact us today to learn more.