Welcome to Alicia’s monthly advice column where she’ll provide tips on caring for a loved one with dementia. Alicia Seaver is the Director of Memory Care at Bridges® by EPOCH and is a certified memory impairment specialist. This month’s topic is holiday gatherings.
For many people, spending time with friends and family is a hallmark of the holiday season. Between shopping, travel and celebratory gatherings, it’s not unusual to experience some level of stress or fatigue, but for caregivers and their loved ones, it can be a particularly difficult time of year. Whether you’re planning a gathering or just attending one, the following are tips to help you and your loved one enjoy yourselves.
Stick to the familiar.
Because new environments can increase disorientation and pose safety concerns for those with memory loss, it’s best to host events at your own home, or at a location your loved one is familiar with. To avoid stressful disruptions to your loved one’s usual routine, make sure the event is held at an appropriate time for socializing—for many people with dementia, daytime is better than evening hours.
Simple also tends to be better. Inviting a few close friends or family members over for cookies and cocoa or simple craft activities may be less disruptive than a big dinner. Likewise, avoid elaborate decorations and avoid rearranging furniture in the home; both could confuse and create unsafe obstacles for a person with dementia.
Communicate openly.
Help holiday guests engage with your loved one by having a conversation with them prior to an event. Remind relatives and friends that a person with memory loss may struggle to follow conversations, repeat themselves often and experience unpredictable mood changes. Ask guests to be patient and understanding, not interrupt or correct and give your loved one a chance to finish his or her thoughts. Preparation increases the likelihood that interactions between your loved one and others will go smoothly, particularly for younger guests who may not understand what dementia is.
Engage your loved one.
Keeping your loved one engaged during holiday gatherings means they will be more likely to enjoy themselves. Baking, listening to music and decorating are just a few activities that you, your loved one and other guests can enjoy together. Be sure to also make time to just sit, chat and share old photos. It’s important for seniors to share past memories of the holidays, as it allows them to celebrate the past and affirm their place within our lives.
If you host an event, try to include your loved one in preparations whenever possible—like the rest of us, it’s important for them to feel needed. Ask for their help in the kitchen, arranging flowers, wrapping gifts, or setting the table.
Keep these considerations in the back of your mind during holiday planning—you’ll be glad you did. I wish you and your loved ones a happy and stress-free holiday season!
If there is a topic you would like Alicia to discuss, please send suggestions to [email protected].